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I don’t answer. There’s no point when guilt has already written itself across my face.
Her lips press together, disgust curling through her expression. “You have my mom fooled, but I know you’re just a slut.”
The insult burns even though I know it isn’t true. It still slips beneath my thin skin and stays there.
“Says the girl who’s constantly sneaking out to have sex.”
I lash out before I can stop myself. Regret follows as soon as it leaves my mouth.
She stares at me for a second, then laughs as if it’s the funniest joke.
“I’m not ashamed that I like to fuck. And as soon as I’m out of this shitty town my mom dragged me to, I won’t have to hide it anymore.” Her hands ball at her sides. “You try living with a mom obsessed with keeping the body pure. It’s exhausting. I just want to cum!”
I glance around instinctively. The open lot is too exposed. The town always feels as though it’s listening.
“I know what it’s like,” I say softly.
She rolls her eyes. “Maybe I should thank you for getting her off my back. Let her be obsessed with keeping you pure.”
She turns away and heads for Wayne’s waiting car, engine already running, ready to carry her off. I watch her climb in and slam the door. She glares out the window as the car rolls down the road, leaving only heat shimmering over the asphalt.
I stand here alone with the church looming behind me. It feels strangely like losing another sibling.
Asher and I never fought, so this is unfamiliar territory. Too much space may cost me my only friend.
The urge to text Edwin keeps needling at me. I want to exist near him, even through a screen.
But I know better now.
I’m an investment.
He didn’t stay. He didn’t look back.
And worse than that, I finally understand that he was never supposed to. Edwin isn’t my boyfriend. He isn’t my lover. I don’t even know what he is, but it’s nothing to get attached to.
Wanting not only his body but his presence was foolish. Intensity is not the same thing as closeness. He may have made me feel seen, but he wasn’t seeing me in the way I wanted.
What happened between us was never something we were building together. He has all the control.
I won’t contact him. I’ll wait until I’m needed. At least I’ll have a shred of dignity left.
“Zaiya, come here, please.”
Evelyn’s voice floats from the church entrance, bright and pleasant. I turn to see her standing beside Bridget, the two of them framed by stone and stained glass.
Their friendship was the last thing I expected. They seem to be at opposite ends of the moral spectrum. But if Bridget sees some benefit in going to Bible study, I can’t fault her.
As I approach, I notice the green ribbon at Bridget’s neck, hidden beneath a stack of three strands of pearls.
A disguise.
Evelyn’s smile is radiant. “It’s been so lovely having Zaiya with us these past weeks. She’s been such a good influence on Calista.”
“I hope you’re adjusting well to life in Shadow Bluff,” Bridget adds, her tone overly polite.
“Yes, I’ve enjoyed getting to know everyone.”
My practiced poise proves useful, though standing here with the woman I’m competing against in rituals neither of us will acknowledge is more awkward than I could have imagined.
