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“If I need to let her go, I’ll do it. I will say that she doesn’t look like a serial killer or a financial crime mastermind.”

“You know how she looks means nothing, right?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Jenny said, tapping the paper in his hand. “Now go get her to fill out all this paperwork so we can check into her background. In the meantime, where will she be located?”

“Right now, she’s in my office. I’m going to call Henry to send up a table from Facilities until Leigh’s desk is released by the police.”

“Your dad would never have shared his office with a new hire,” Jenny said under her breath. “I’m not sure Leigh would have either, to be honest. There are empty offices on other floors, Sam. I can put her in one of those temporarily.”

“I want her to be close by in case I need anything,” Sam replied. “That’s why Leigh sat outside of Dad’s office. He wanted to be able to yell her name so she could come running.”

“Are you planning to yell?”

“Not in anger.”

Jenny shook her head, but she was trying to hide her laughter at his pathetic joke.

Sam tucked the paper in his breast pocket and headed down the hall to the elevator, but his finger pushed the button for the bottom floor, not the top.

He needed some fresh air. Now. Not in a few minutes or later. Right the fuck now. The elevator was far too small, and sweat had popped out on his forehead when it came to a halt in the lobby. Without giving anyone a second glance, he strode out of the back door to the small lake behind the building. The company had installed benches all around it, and people mostly used them to eat their lunch or make personal calls.

But it was too early in the morning for lunch, and most people hadn’t bothered to make their calls about what had happened in private. They were all still inside, talking about it. Conjecturing, mostly.

He found the bench furthest away under a large oak tree, where he could sit in the shade. By the time he arrived there, he was shaking and sweating. He sat down hard, his legs almost giving out under him. Scraping his hands down his face, the image of Leigh’s dead body was front and center in his mind.

Someone had died this morning, and frankly, he hadn’t had much of a reaction yet until now. He was a master of compartmentalizing his life, but even he wasn’t stupid or naive enough to believe that at some point he wasn’t going to have to deal with what he’d seen this morning. Was that moment now?

Sam had never discovered a dead body before, let alone someone he cared about as a person. Should he be in a corner, lost in some existential void, and questioning the meaning of life? All he knew was that he was sad, but more, angry as hell. What had happened to Leigh wasn’t fair. She’d been a good person who had tried to do good things. It wasn’t right that she was cut down so young.

Sheriff Finn had intimated from the crime scene that it looked like a robbery gone bad. When Sam returned to his office, he would arrange better security for the premises after dark. This wasn’t going to happen to anyone else. If Leigh hadn’t been so devoted to her job, she wouldn’t have been at the office late, and this wouldn’t have happened. She’d be alive and planning her next vacation to the East Coast. He knew she loved it there, and she visited as much as possible.

Leigh.

She’d been a fixture in his life since he was a kid. He didn’t remember a time when she didn’t work for his father. When he or his siblings would visit Joel’s office, she was the one who had sweets in her desk as a treat. She even had coloring books and huge packs of crayons tucked into the credenza in the corner for when they came to visit.

And she’d been there after Lily Winslow had disappeared. She hadn’t been a second mother figure or anything like that, but somehow she’d managed to make things happen just the same. Between her and their housekeeper, there had always been birthday and graduation parties. Joel Winslow wouldn’t have ever remembered without those two powerful women working behind the scenes.

And now she was gone. And his father’s health was hanging in the balance, as well. Is this what growing older looked like? Watching people in your life grow old, or get sick, or worse, be a victim, and then simply die?

Sam hadn’t ever been the type to ponder his own mortality, but a day like today put it front and center in his mind. He’d always thought there would be plenty of time for whatever he wanted to do, but he wasn’t so sure anymore.

Is that why he’d veered from his usual “safe” mode this morning and hired Allison Crenshaw? He’d told himself it was because he was going to need all the help he could get to implement the changes to the firm, but perhaps it had simply been him indulging the spontaneity and gut-level decision-making that he usually suppressed?

Damn, when was the last time he’d had fun? Just pure, unadulterated, ass-slapping fun? Sure, he’d relaxed a bit since he’d quit the firm, never thinking he’d be back, but he hadn’t truly had fun. It was sad, really.

I don’t laugh enough. I don’t listen to myself enough. I don’t relax enough. And I sure as hell don’t do anything silly. Ever.

He wasn’t quite sure how to remedy this problem, though. He wasn’t going to wear a clown suit to work tomorrow. That was far too silly, and besides, clowns were downright creepy.

Finally, levering up from the bench, he took a long look around and vowed to stop and smell the roses every day. Or the trees. Or the grass. He would find a moment in nature where he could simply be in it without having any expectations.

It was a start. He’d need to think in terms of baby steps. Changing overnight was overrated.

Calmer and no longer sweating, Sam headed back upstairs to his office. Until IT could set up Alli’s own laptop, she could use his to get all of this done. When she was finished, he’d sit down and talk with her more about what the job entailed. She hadn’t asked any questions when he’d offered her the job.

Which of them had been more impetuous? Him for offering the job or her for taking it?