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The worry in her voice tugs at my heart.
“I’m sorry, Mama, I haven’t been feeling very well, and to be honest I’ve been asleep for the past couple of days.”
“Where are you, Savannah?”
Where was I? “With a friend. Mama—"
“Savannah, what’s wrong darlin’?”
“Mama, I don’t know how to say this.” I take a deep breath. “Things with Tyson are bad, Mama, they‘ve been bad.”
“How can that be? We just saw on television that he asked you to marry him. That one act your Daddy is not too fond of. Doesn’t that boy know the importance of having your own parents there? Oh, your Daddy is fit to be tied, darlin’. Tyson didn’t even ask your father. What kind of man doesn’t ask for permission from—”
“He’s been physical with me, Mama." I interrupt her fussing. "He’s been hurting me, really bad.” I hear her gasp.
“No. That can’t be.”
I close my eyes, willing the tears not to come, knowing there is no use. Between the hormones and what my life has become, tears seem to be the only constant.
“Mama, believe me when I tell you, that it definitely can be.”
I look at myself in the mirror that Sin has hanging on the wall. The swelling in my eyes have gone down, they’re just slightly puffy now. The fresh, dark, purple coloring of the bruises I had a couple of days ago is starting to fade. I still have a few days to go before I’ll be without any signs of the pain Tyson has caused me. But I appear so much better than I did Sunday.
“I don’t understand. How? Why?” Pain resonates in her voice. I know she’s crying and I hate that I'm the cause.
“I don’t know, Mama, but what I do know is that I’ve left. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want that life. I don’t want to be someone’s punching bag.”
“But he was just here this morning. He was so distraught. So worried. It seemed like he hasn’t slept since you’ve been missing. I don’t understand how he could have looked so lost, honey. How could he look like he’s lost his entire world and be such a monster? How could he sit here and tell me and your father how much he loves you but treat you so badly?” Her voice is strained with concern.
“I don’t know, Mama. But I need you to not tell him that I spoke to you, alright? I need some time alone. I need to figure things out.”
“Alright, baby, of course. I won’t say anything.” She sniffs proof that I was right and she is crying.
“Please don’t tell Daddy what I told you. I don’t need to get him upset. I don’t need him to worry.”
“Oh, Savannah, baby, your daddy is going to worry because you’re his child and that’s what daddies do when they have little girls. He will always worry, but I won’t say a word, darlin’. I’ll tell him you’re fine and taking some ‘you time’.”
“Thank you, Mama.”
“Savannah?”
“Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me know that you were in trouble?”
“I guess I thought things would change and I didn’t want to worry you. I thought love would win out over whatever anger Tyson held, but I was wrong.”
“Don’t shut me out again, darlin’. I just couldn’t stand it! I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”
Guilt is eating at me. I'm not ready to tell anyone that I'm pregnant. When I finally tell her, she’ll understand.
“I won’t, Mama. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay, honey. I love you, Savannah, so, so much.”
“I love you too, Mama.”
The warm water runs down my body. I inhaled the steam, taking a cleansing breath. I roll my neck, trying to release the tension I feel after the phone call with my mother. I love her, so much. I don’t want to worry her, I’ve never wanted to be a burden, or trouble. She's given me; no, they’ve given me so much. I hang my head, feeling the trickling water run down the sides of my face.
