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It kills me to watch him like this, but I can’t look away, even though every movement slices a hole through my chest, and every moan tears deeper into my heart.

A tear slides down my cheek when her stupid pet name falls from his lips. Another at her reaction to it.

All I’ve ever wanted was him. The moment she showed up, it was only ever her. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. There’s not even anything special about her. She’s plain. Ordinary. Human.

If the King of Shadows had any idea she was here…

She is impure, not of our world. If the stories hold any truth, he likes that the least. He would take care of the problem for me.

No one comes back from the dying land. No one escapes the dark king.

Would it be a betrayal to Rhenn? Yes. The absolute worst possible one. It’s for his own good though. She isn’t right for him. She doesn’t even belong here.

He groans and my knees want to collapse from under me. Rhenn is giving her the part of him I worked so hard to find. The part of him he refused to give me. His affection. His love.

Why does she get it after only a few months when I’m the one who really belongs with him? Can’t he see what she’s doing to us?

My entire body is weak. I feel sick.

Closing my eyes, I take three steps back, trying to breathe, trying to keep my heart from falling through my chest.

No destination, I turn and run. I run as far as my legs can carry me. Far away from the perfect human who stole my world’s dream right out from under me.

It was never about our orders. He left me for her. Like always, I wasn’t good enough. And now I know I never will be. Not while she’s still here.

Coming to a small meadow, my body gives out and I fall to my knees. I grip the earth beneath my fingers, letting the small blades of grass brush against my skin. The nature feels my pain and is reaching to mend me, comfort me the way only nature can. It isn’t enough. I am too wounded for even the forest to heal.

After several measured breaths, I force myself to stand. The breeze blows softly, caressing me in a cooling embrace. I may be alone, but I have the wind, the trees, and the rocks. I have to trust them, let them guide me. Let them carry my secrets of the girl with multi-colored eyes far past the borders of Fall Haven, all the way to the Reaper himself.

It’s the only way. Humans were never meant for our world. The darkness wants her even more than Rhenn does.

“Hey, pretty faerie,” a voice calls from behind me. “Looks like I’ve found you.” I turn to see Ashen. He walks closer, his face quickly shifting from predator to concerned. “What’s wrong?”

My head shakes back and forth, willing the tears to stop.

Ashen closes the distance between us. He takes my face in his hands, using his thumbs to dry the wet path running down my cheeks. Our eyes catch and he pauses, moving just a little closer. “Has someone hurt you?”

Ashen has been a friend since the day I moved here. He’s always been able to tell when something was wrong, even when it wasn’t stamped across every line on my face. I close my eyes and lean into him, wishing he could stop this awful pain inside me.

Saying nothing, Ashen allows me in, rubbing small circles over my back. The Hunt hasn’t ended, but he’s willing to put a pause on the game to try and console me. Ashen is Rhenn’s friend more than he is mine. I’m thankful our dynamic doesn’t have to go away too because I really need him right now.

I pull back, knowing that to cry is to show weakness. Maybe I am weak though. Maybe that doesn’t matter.

Ashen’s features are soft, his umber eyes holding mine. “Want to tell me what happened?” I don’t reply because I can’t say it out loud. He nods in understanding, reaching to brush my hair behind my ear. “Then why don’t you let me take whatever that sad feeling is away?”

His words catch me off guard and I move back. “I- we can’t,” I stutter.

“Why not?”

There was a time when Ashen and I almost were. We even shared a kiss our second to last year of school. It was exactly what you’d want it to be, soft, sweet. But nothing more came out of it because the next day things took a different turn for me with someone else.

“Rhenn,” I say, the image of him pressing into Sumner flashing through my mind again. He’s the one I’ve always chased. The reason mine and Ashen’s kiss was only ever that, a single kiss.

“I thought you guys called it off?”

My head lowers. We didn’t do anything. Rhenn called it off. Rhenn is the one who called all the shots.

“For years I’ve watched you want him,” Ashen tells me, using his fingers to lift my chin. “Years. And he never even noticed. These tears,” he says, wiping another one away, “they’re killing me to see. And it kills me even more knowing they’re for him. Rhenn is my brother and I love him…” Ashen shakes his head. “You’re too good for him, you know that, right? He didn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You are worth so much more than what he led you to believe.”