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I’m here, a part of it. These people barely acknowledged my existence until tonight. I was the outsider, stuck on the wrong side looking in. It didn’t bother me; I’ve always kept to myself. That doesn’t mean the idea of fitting in hasn’t crossed my mind at least a dozen times. And maybe I did want to be a part of this group. Maybe I was tired of looking at happiness through a glass window.
Breathing in the smoky air, I tilt my head back, unable to help the small smile spreading across my lips. There’s a sense of warmth and belonging I haven’t felt in a long time. It’s such a little thing, still, the weight it lifts is noticeable.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I can fit in here.
Everything would be perfect if not for the one missing piece.
There is only one person who truly understands me. One person I care about more than anything in the world. The entire reason I want to go home so badly.
A loneliness that could never be filled tugs at my heart when I think of him.
Ashen excuses himself, alerting everyone that his bladder has filed an official complaint and he has to go address it.
I finish the last of Rai’s drink, ignoring the harsh aftertaste. There’s a pile for the trash a few feet away, so I stand, ready to make my way to it. The moment I rise to my feet, I feel the effects of the drink. She made it way too strong. My head is swimming. So is the ground. I can’t seem to get my footing, and I fall to my knees after the first step.
Moxin comes to my side, kneeling down in front of me. “Is it working?” she asks, snapping her fingers in front of my eyes. The sound plays back in my ears, echoing like the inside of a cave. I follow her hand as she moves it from side to side, seeing streaks of light waving with the motion.
“Of course it is. I made it,” Rai answers.
“What is she seeing?” I hear Siena somewhere around me but can’t pinpoint exactly where she is.
Rai smiles. It’s distorted somehow, fogged by the alcohol. “Whatever we want.”
“I don’t feel very well,” I try to say, reaching for Moxin so she can help me up.
She moves back, letting her mouth rise at the corners. “Do you like spiders?”
Spiders? What is she talking about? Why is everyone looking at me?
I try to stand on my own, willing my knees to work. They buckle beneath me, and I fall back to the hard earth, catching myself with my hands.
My skin begins to itch. It pricks at me from the inside out. I scratch at my arms, getting no relief from the incessant sting.
Dark hairs sprout from the flesh of my forearms and the tips of my fingers. They wiggle, prying their way out from inside me. More legs of black surface from each infected site. Groups of four and four. They grow longer, embedding themselves down and climbing out of me.
Spiders. Hundreds of spiders crawling all over my body.
I shriek, falling back, trying to wipe them off.
Everyone around me is laughing. Can’t they see them? Can’t they see the bugs?
“Hey, Sumner,” one of them calls, “there’s a huge snake on you!”
Soft hissing brushes against my ear. A weight that wasn’t there presses over my back, rising onto my shoulders. When I look to the side, I see its marbled golden eye with a slit like midnight staring back at me. Its long body wraps around me, compressing my neck, making it hard to breathe.
“Help! Get it off!” I beg.
“Oh no! Are those rats?”
Tiny paws scurry over me, their nails digging into my skin and tearing my clothes. There’s so many of them. I feel them in my hair and burrowing beneath the legs of my pants. Their squeaking blocks out the laughter. It even muffles my own cries.
Why won’t anyone help?
Someone climbs on top of me, straddling my waist while I twist and thrash, trying to shake them off. Their hands push down on my shoulders, forcing me to look up. It’s Siena. She’s staring down at me, unfazed by the swarm covering every inch of my body.
“This is our world. You shouldn’t have come here, freak.”
I shake my head, trying to tell her it wasn’t a choice, that I don’t want to be here, but no words come out. Only gasps as I try everything to catch my breath.
