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“If she has to choose between us after this—” I begin, the thought suddenly sharp in my mind. I don’t know where it came from, but the possibility is there. While me and Tobias may have our history, she may have thought this was a fun night. It’s not unheard of here at The Carnival, to have multiple partners for a few nights. But I don’t know if I –
Tobias silences my thoughts with a look over the top of her head that speaks volumes. His hand finds mine again, resting over Emerson’s sleeping form.
“That’s not what this is,” he says quietly, “and you know it. Stop worrying.”
I don’t respond to him, because unfortunately, as always, he’s right … even if I want to try to ignore him. Something inside both of us knows better. And for the first time in many, many years … I go to sleep peacefully.
Chapter 25
I should feel overwhelmed, maybe even scared of what happened between us, but instead I feel safe in a way I’ve never experienced before. It’s still early, the sunlight not even pebbling through the windows yet as I stay laying between them.
Kenan shifts in his sleep, his arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer to him. Tobias lays on his back, his hand beneath both mine and Kenan’s heads.
“Awake, Little Bird?” Tobias’s voice is coated in sleep as I turn, putting my head on his chest.
“Tell me something real,” I say, feeling Kenan stirring again behind me. His breathing is no longer that of sleep as he moves to be closer to me, his hand finding Tobias’s stomach.
“Something real?” Tobias seems to taste the words, as if debating what they mean.
“Yes, about you two.” I don’t know why I feel like I need to know, and maybe I don’t, but this is my fourth day. Only one day until ... something happens, and what that something is, I still don’t know.
“That’s a long story,” Tobias says, his thumb brushing over Kenan’s knuckles.
“It started three hundred and forty-three years ago,” Kenan begins, his voice low. “I followed a woman with pink hair into a tent at the traveling carnival … or what I thought was a traveling carnival. I had slept with her a few times the last two days they had been in town. I thought I had found an easy mark ... instead I got distracted by Tobias’s tent and went rummaging through it.”
“I told him to leave,” Tobias says, with an almost laugh in his voice. “He doesn’t listen.”
“I couldn’t, by then I already wanted to know more about him. I didn’t realize that being with him meant losing my soul.” Kenan’s voice doesn’t change, “I wouldn’t go back on that decision, even now.”
I feel Tobias’s breath stop, then his hand brushes through my hair, touching my temple. “Sleep, Little Bird, we will talk more later.”
I give into the sleep that seems more of a command than a suggestion, because at this point I’m exhausted and rest doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
* * *
I wake to the gentle pressure of Kenan’s arm around me, the warmth of his body radiating against my back. The tendrils of sleep linger, but reality pulls me from its grasp. I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent that’s becoming so familiar to me, feeling encased in the safety between them. The remnant of last night lingers like a sweet haze.
The morning light is just beginning to filter through the curtains, casting soft shadows across the room, illuminating the edges of the mirrors that surround us. I shift slightly, trying not to disturb either of them, but the intention only lasts so long before I can no longer ignore the urge to move. I need to ground myself, to face whatever the day holds, especially since tomorrow looms with uncertainty and permanence.
I sit up slowly, careful not to jostle Kenan. Tobias lies motionless, his chest rising and falling steadily as he sleeps. My curiosity compels me to slide out from under the covers, my bare feet hitting the cool floor with a shiver. I shouldn’t do what I’m about to do ... curiosity gets the better of me.
Tobias invited me in here in trust, but I remember how his eyes flashed with recognition at the sight of my sister’s photos. He’s always known something, and while they told me she chose a different path, I have yet to have any proof that she did.
I rummage through the trunks around the room, making sure not to make too much noise. Clothes hang haphazardly, a mix of costumes and casual wear. Kenan stirs in his sleep, wrapping an arm around Tobias, and for a moment I stop to smile at the two of them. Since I’ve been here, I’ve felt a call to both, and last night might have sealed that, but I can’t stop looking.
Inside one of the chests something familiar catches my eye: a delicate necklace, silver with intricate designs that dance along the chain. My heart races as recognition floods through me. Evelyn’s necklace. The one she wore every day.
I lift the necklace, fingers trembling as I trace the designs. My heart races with a mixture of joy and terror; how did it end up here? Did she wear it until the end? The more pressing question, why does Tobias have it? I curl my fingers tightly around it, feeling its cool metal against my palm, but then a soft murmur from behind makes me freeze.
“Emerson?” Kenan’s voice, thick with sleep, breaks through the fog of dawn. I turn slowly, the necklace still clutched in my hand.
He sits up, the sheets falling away, exposing the beautifully inked skin on his torso. “Don’t you look guilty?” His voice is low, edged with lingering confusion and sleep, but he studies me intently. “What are you up to over there?”
“I—” My words falter, caught between an urge to explain and the fear of shattering the peace we’ve found. “I found something ... that belongs to Evelyn.”
I hold up the necklace, the last glimmer of my hope shining between us like a star in the night sky.
Tobias sits up, his hair tousled from sleep, and his expression shifts from drowsiness to focus as he catches sight of the necklace. “Where did you ... ?” His blue eyes narrow.
