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The thought had been unbearable. Sitting in the house, surrounded by decorations intended for a family celebration that would no longer happen, facing weeks of well-meaning but pitying looks from neighbors who’d surely heard about Carl moving out by now. The idea of fielding concerned phone calls from friends who wanted to make sure she wasn’t spending the holidays alone or were extending obligatory invites filled her with a claustrophobic panic. And then there was the idea of job hunting at a time when businesses had already hired seasonal help or were tightening up before the new year.

She’d gotten out her laptop at that point, and started searching. Not for jobs, she wasn’t ready for that yet. She had no idea what her next step would be when it came to work, and thanks to the very generous severance that she was pretty sure was mostly guilt on Leonard’s part, she had some time. Instead, she’d found herself typing “small towns New England Christmas” into the search engine, looking for somewhere completely different, somewhere she could disappear and reinvent herself without the weight of a lifetime of history dragging her down.

It had felt a little bit like a cliche, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to care. What she needed was to move forward, a change big enough to make all of this seem worth losing, and she’d felt a jolt of rightness when Fir Tree Grove had appeared on her screen like something out of a holiday movie.

The town’s website featured photographs of tree-lined streets adorned with twinkling lights, Victorian houses with wraparound porches and elaborate holiday decorations, a main street lined with locally owned shops, and articles about annual town celebrations and festivals. It was very different from the cookie-cutter suburban neighborhood she lived in, and it was so charming that she felt an instant pull. She’d always loved places like that, and wanted to vacation somewhere with that kind of rustic charm, but Carl had found it boring. Now, she didn’t have to worry about what Carl thought.

If she wanted to spend Christmas in a postcard, that was exactly what she could do.

In fact, she thought as she looked at the website, with its charming pictures and descriptions of the town, she could see herself living there. Starting over somewhere that had charm and character and where she could reinvent herself completely, instead of this suburban existence that she’d lived in all these years because she thought it meant happiness. This was taking a risk, but it could be worth it. She’d just had her entire life wiped away—marriage, job, all of her plans. Why not accept that maybe this was a sign to try something completely new?

The town wasn’t so impossibly small that it would feel claustrophobic—a little over five thousand people, according to the website. She spent a half hour or so browsing real-estate listings. If she could sell her house for what it was worth, she could absolutely afford a mortgage there, one that would be less than what she was currently paying. She could find a community there, friends and a new rhythm for her life. Her daughter was grown; her roots to where she was at that moment were beginning to feel thin.

I’m going to do it, she thought. She would spend the next month renting a room at the local bed and breakfast, look for a job, get the lay of the land, so to speak. And if by the end of the holidays she still felt the way she did right now, she would stay.

That decisiveness that she’d always prided herself on kicked in. She put her laptop down, and started making phone calls. The first was to the bed and breakfast, to see if they could accommodate that long of a stay. The second was to her friend Janet, a local real estate agent who she trusted to help sell the house without her having to be physically present. And the third was to Leonard, informing him that she wouldn’t be finishing out her two weeks, and that the new office manager could start just as soon as she liked.

“You’re more than welcome to stay the full two weeks,” Leonard said, his voice so heavy with guilt that Nicole knew he’d be fine with whatever she decided. “I’m not in any hurry for you to leave, believe me.”

“I appreciate that,” she said, keeping her voice firm, “but I think a clean break is better for everyone. I’ll have everything documented and organized for your new office manager.”

Leonard had tried one more time to convince her to stay through her notice period, but Nicole had been firm. She’d learned long ago that there was no point in prolonging the inevitable, and sitting in that office for two more weeks while Leonard’s new partner prepared to replace her would have been torture.

Later that afternoon, as Nicole finished boxing up the last of her things that she planned on keeping and separated the boxes into what she was putting into storage and what she was taking with her, she heard the sound of Janet’s car tires on the gravel driveway. She got up, dusting her hands off on her jeans, and headed out to meet her friend.

Janet stepped out of her dark blue sedan, her dyed blonde hair perfectly curled around her face, dressed in a slim pencil skirt and blazer. Nicole chuckled as she walked out onto the porch to meet her. Janet had always been the type to dress up for a “work meeting” even if it was just between friends.

Nicole waved, offering a smile that she hoped looked more confident than she felt about everything. “Perfect timing. I’m just about to go take the last load of storage boxes to the unit.”

Janet walked up to the porch, a slightly concerned look on her face as she scanned the exterior of the house. “So you’re selling?” she asked, her voice slightly confused. “Show me around, then—let me look at things with a realtor’s eye.’’

Nicole gave her a tour of the now mostly empty house, and Janet made approving sounds as they walked from room to room. “I can get what you’re asking for, no problem,” she said confidently. “In fact, I’d actually suggest bumping up the price a bit in this market. But Nicole… are you sure about this? Moving to a town you’ve never even visited seems…” she paused, clearly searching for diplomatic phrasing, “impulsive.”

“Says the woman who bought a vacation condo in Florida after seeing it online,” Nicole teased, trying to lighten the mood while she gathered the last of her important papers from the kitchen counter.

“That was different,” Janet protested. “That was an investment property, not my entire life. I’m a realtor, flipping properties is basically in my DNA now. But you’re upending your whole life.”

Nicole turned to face her friend, seeing the concern in Janet’s face. They’d known each other for the better part of ten years, and Janet had been one of the first people she’d confided in when she’d realized that her marriage was growing rocky. She knew that Janet’s worry came from a place of love, but still, she had no intention of being talked out of this.

“Janet, I need you to understand something,” Nicole said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “My job is gone. My marriage is over. Amy’s not coming home for Christmas. I can stay here and spend the next six months being the object of everyone’s pity while I figure out what comes next, or I can go somewhere new and start rebuilding on my own terms.”

Janet leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed her arms, a gesture Nicole knew was her friend’s way of preparing for a difficult conversation. “But this totally new town… what is it called? Fir Tree Grove? You don’t know anyone there. You don’t have a job lined up. What if it’s a mistake?”

“Then I’ll make another decision and move on,” Nicole replied with more confidence than she felt. “But staying here feels like accepting that my life is basically over. That even with the opportunity for a fresh start, this is all there’s going to be, and that someone as important as my husband can walk out of my life and I’ll just sit here like a rock waiting for grass to grow over it.”

She blew out a sharp breath. “I actually feel excited about this. It’s giving me something to look forward to, even with all the complications of a divorce and how I feel about my job replacing me so easily and my daughter having new adventures that have nothing to do with me. And I need that something to look forward to right now. If it goes wrong, I’ll be the first one to admit I made a mistake. But what would be worse is feeling like all my chances to make mistakes with my life are behind me now.”

“You seem to feel really strongly about this.” Janet pursed her lips. “You have a place to stay?”

Nicole nodded. “I rented a room in the bed and breakfast there for the month of December. I already paid up-front, so there’s nothing to worry about there. And once I’ve spent a few weeks there, I’ll have a better idea if this is permanent.”

The up-front payment had taken a good chunk of her severance, she thought ruefully. But she had savings, and some of the severance money left, and she had a credit card for emergencies. She needed to find a job sooner rather than later, but she wouldn’t starve.

“Look,” she said, reaching out to touch Janet’s arm, “I know this seems crazy. But I’ve spent so much of my life building my entire identity around being Carl’s wife and Leonard’s indispensable assistant. I need to find out who I am outside of what other people need and want from me.”

Janet’s expression softened. “Okay,” she said simply. “Tell me what you need me to handle with the house.”

They spent the next hour going over all the details that would allow Janet to manage the sale in Nicole’s absence. There wasn’t much that needed to be done to the house to get it ready for sale, and Janet was confident she could handle the few things that did need sprucing up. She convinced Nicole to up the price by another twenty thousand, and Nicole signed all the necessary paperwork to give Janet power of attorney to handle negotiations and closing details.