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Somehow, I find the strength to reach out and place my hand on his. I’d love nothing more than to bury my nails into his skin, but I resist, instead softening my expression and my voice. “Tell me what’s happened since we last saw each other.”

Give me information, you fucker, so I can hang you with it.

Ryker looks at my hand, turning over his own so he can thread our fingers together.

“That night you told me to leave, I was certain you never wanted to see me again, so I stayed away. Even though it broke my heart … I left you alone. Life got worse—not just because I missed you, but because my parents divorced, and my brother …” He shakes his head. “He left us. Ran away. Said he had to find somewhere he belonged. It was years before I heard from him again. He wrote me a letter, saying he’d found a place. The Agency. Then … nothing.”

I watch him. “He never wrote you again?”

“No. And I knew in my heart—” He presses his palm to his chest, his eyes shining. “I knew he was gone. My parents didn’t care, too wrapped up in new marriages and lives, but I couldn’t forget about him. I asked around about the Agency, and that didn’t go down too well. It was clearly something important, and I needed to find out more, but I had no way to do it. Eventually, I got a job and studied the stock market at night. I put everything into getting money, because that meant resources. I dedicated my life to this, Silence.” He clenches his hand, and I hold back a wince as my knuckles crack from his grip. “I’d lost you. I’d lost him. I wasn’t going to be beaten down again. I made something of myself. I became the person people went to. I became powerful. And then …” He looks at me, and there’s so much hatred shining in his gaze that I almost yank my hand free. “I found out what Zayden and Xavier had done. They’d killed him. So I hunted them, and then … I found you.” The rage cools, and his grip softens. “Not only had Zayden killed my brother, but he’d married you.”

I almost feel sorry for him. His brother might have been cruel and deserved to die that day, but Ryker didn’t know that. He lost his only sibling, and he lashed out.

“You have to let this go, Odin,” I whisper, and his lip trembles. “I’m sorry things ended the way they did. I’m sorry you were hurt. But so many years have passed. You said you’ve made something of yourself—why lose all that to revenge?”

A few painful seconds pass, and I hope he’s letting the words register. Nothing good can come from this, and I know if I spoke to Zayden, we could all put this to bed and leave this place alive. We’d have to bury a lot of pain, but it’s better than more death.

“I’m sorry, too, Rose,” Ryker says gently.

I force a smile. “I guess we’re all to blame for something, right?”

He laughs softly and lifts my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “It’s true, though. I’m so fucking sorry. For all of it. For not being there when your dad died, for causing the trouble I did, for hurting Xavier, for taking Zayden. For … for lying to you that night at the hotel. I was just … I was so fucking happy to see you. It was overwhelming, like every dream I’d had for years coming true, and you were so beautiful, and funny, and smart … you were everything I knew you’d be and more.” The apology will never come close to being enough, but I still nod, faking my acceptance. “But I’m mostly sorry for drugging your drink.”

My spine stiffens. “What?”

“If I bring in a doctor to help Zayden, you’ll ask for help. I couldn’t risk it.” I stand so quickly that the chair topples over behind me, and my head swims. “He might be on my payroll, but you’re very convincing when you want to be, Silence.”

I stumble, my knees hitting the floor.

Stay awake. Stay awake.

Don’t fall asleep.

I crawl, blinking fast, not even knowing where I’m going. Just out. Away. Anywhere but in the same room as him.

“Silence, you’ll just sleep for a while.”

Fuck you. That’s what I want to say. Fucking fuck you to hell and back.

I’m unsure if I’m floating or if my body is tingling. I fall, slamming into the carpet and try to move my hands, my fingers, wiggle my toes, but all I can do is blink.

“Good night, Rose.”

Chapter 38

Yale

It’s Xavier’s sixth kick of the bar that finally breaks my patience.

“X, will you fucking give it up?”

He ignores me, continuing to slam the sole of his boot into the metal. He’s been doing it for two weeks, and it hasn’t budged, but he’s convinced it’s coming loose.

As the banging continues, I focus on Zayden. He’s still seated, head back, eyes closed. Sweat drips down his temple. “Z, you doing okay?”

He hums quietly, his nod slow. “Thought … thought I saw Silence.”

I grit my teeth together, not bothering to tell him that he did, because it’ll only worry him. He’s been drifting in and out of consciousness for days, his wounds clearly infected. He mumbles our names in his sleep, but he mainly asks for Silence.