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“October twenty-first. The day before my birthday. The day Josh died.”

“It’s a crazy coincidence,” I said. “And I’m so sad that you’ll always have to associate those two things.”

“No, Indy. It’s more than a coincidence. October twenty-first was the day that my dad went missing. It was the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer.” He took a deep breath. “When I was a kid this neighbor of ours used to watch me, and at my mom’s funeral, I heard her tell someone that I was born under a bad star. She said some people were born cursed and there wasn’t anything they could do about it.”

His confession knocked the wind from me, and I couldn’t find the words to tell him what I thought of his nonsense. I could imagine being a devastated twelve-year-old boy and hearing that. I wanted to murder that nibby-nose neighbor for fucking up a kid’s psyche so much that he was still dealing with the fallout. “I will kill that woman. Where does she live?”

“That’s why I was so obsessed with space, you know,” Levi continued. “I’d look up at the sky and wonder which star had it out for me. I never told anyone about it because I was ashamed. And then for a while I was so pissed off, so determined to go up there one day and have it out with that goddamn star.”

“Levi,” I breathed. “You don’t really believe that?”

“It’s the only explanation,” he said sadly.

“The only explanation? You have a degree in physics! You’re a scientist! You cannot believe in curses,” I cried, standing up and throwing my hands in the air in exasperation. “Tragedy happens to everyone. And some people face multiple tragedies—that doesn’t mean they’re cursed. Look at the Kennedys.”

“That’s not the argument you think it is, Indy. The Kennedys are definitely cursed.”

“Okay, let’s break your case down. Your dad was depressed and addicted way before you were born. Not your fault. Your mother was sick. Again, not your fault. And Josh . . .”

“Was my fault, Indy!” he cried. “Don’t you see? He should be here with you, not me! He should be the one flying in the Air Force, not me! And he should be the one going to space!”

I couldn’t tell him that I was glad that he was here and not Josh because that wasn’t true, but neither was it true that I’d prefer Josh to be here. Anyway you looked at it was tragic and absolutely not fucking fair. But no one was to blame. I was horrified that for all these years Levi had been carrying this burden.

“If I had just gotten my shit together. Hadn’t been so selfish, he’d still be here.” His voice cracked.

“Levi.” I took him in my arms, and he pressed his face to my stomach. He wasn’t crying, he was still holding back. He’d been holding all of this in so long. It was no wonder he kept trying to run away from it. “It’s not your fault. You’re not cursed.”

He slumped against me like all the life force had been swept clean out of him. This was the sadness he’d only ever let me peek at. I felt helpless confronted with it, but determined too. This was why we’d been brought back together—so we could help each other heal.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” he mumbled. “I probably won’t have a job when I get back, I skipped out on the meeting today.”

“You didn’t,” I moaned. “Levi, you’ve sacrificed enough for me.”

He lifted his head, looking up at me with stark determination in his sapphire eyes. “Never. I’d give my life for you, Indy.”

My hands framed his face. I smoothed them over the sculped edges of his cheek bones, his stubbled jaw. This face I knew so well but was seeing for the first time. He wasn’t hiding from me anymore. The mask was gone.

I lowered my mouth to his and let him envelop me in his arms. He kissed me like he couldn’t get enough of me. Like I was the only thing that mattered.

Afterward, I wrapped myself around him, my hand pressed to his heart, my cheek against his back. I stared out at the stars and wondered how he couldn’t see that they were shining for him.

Chapter 32

Diana

“Indy! Indy, wake up!” Something long and hard jabbed me in the side followed by god-awful bleating noise outside. I sat up, disoriented, clawing at my sleep mask. “What’s happening? Is that . . . an erection?”

“As if I were capable of getting a boner while a herd of goats have been tap dancing on the tin shed,” Levi complained as I blinked my eyes into focus, and I remembered where we were. “I forgot what a deep sleeper you are.”

“What time is it?” I shot up and grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor.

“Time to confront Professor Popinjay.” Levi brandished the flashlight he’d been poking me with like it was Excalibur and threw my sweater at me.

Outside, dawn was cresting pink over the vast expanse of sea. The moon and stars were still visible above as we took long strides across the rocky path toward the hot springs.

“What are you going to say to him?” Levi asked, throwing an arm over my shoulders.

“I’m just going to improvise.”