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He breathes in and out for a few more seconds.

I lean over the console separating us, laying a gentle hand on his forearm. His eyes blink open, swirling with heat. In an instant, he reaches for my head, pulling me close to him again. Our foreheads rest against one another.

My pulse quickens, and my mouth goes dry. I lick my lips, wanting to taste him again.

“It feels heavenly to be able to taste your lips,” he eases out with a pain I can’t decipher.

My pulse stutters.

“Are you afraid, Marisa?” he asks after I don’t reply.

“No,” I whisper.

“I’m not going to be able to hold myself back. Please tell me this is something you don’t want.” He begs like a man seeking benediction. Would I allow him to be saved?

In response, I reach for the buttons of his disguise, slowly unbuttoning, watching as those glowing embers of desire track my movements. I slide my hand into the warmth beneath his clothing, placing a hand over his heart.

“I don’t know why I want this, but I do,” I reply, meeting his gaze.

He slips his hand into mine and squeezes. Looking at him unravel before me with just a slight touch leaves me breathless, panting at the hands of a man I barely know.

“If you don’t do something, I might combust.” He gives a half-hearted laugh, his sharp teeth ready to devour me if I let him.

And you will let him.

Sharp teeth, desire and secrets go well together.

“I thought you were the protector of this town? Scared?” Leaning closer, I feel the ghost of his lips. Soft and ravishing. Take me, I want to say. I don’t care if I have to go back to Kieran.

“Scared of the town? No. Afraid of what this is? Yes,” he growls.

I can feel the thumping of his heart in my palms. It’s now or never. I remove my coat, climb over the console and straddle him. He reclines in the seat, watching me with an intensity that sets my skin ablaze. I feel the hardness of him against my inner thigh. Wetness pools in my panties.

“Fuck.” His voice is unsteady, and if that doesn’t undo me, I don’t know what will.

“No one’s watching,” I whisper. Our location is secluded, windows foggy.

“Come here.” He pulls me to him, slamming his lips against mine in an urgency that conveys a man in a hurry against time. He lifts my skirt around my waist so that he can position his hard length directly in the heat of my core.

“Christian.” Desperation claws at my words.

Before we can continue, he reels back, allowing me to see the paint of his mask had smeared. I stifle a giggle. “I’m glad you’re here,” he murmurs with a sadness I can’t decode. He closes the space between us again, giving me a longer, more languid kiss. He pulls back one final time. “But I have to let you go now.”

THIRTY-FOUR

October 12, 2010

“Love and damnation, two sides of the same coin.”

— UNKNOWN

It’s my personal shadow again standing just outside the estate, like a ‌habit I can’t break.

Just like Kieran.

The small flame of Christian’s lantern flickers wildly against the thick, chilly night. It’s my signal that I have ten minutes to make my way to him.

After the fair, I had to ask myself, was this me seeking truth of my own free will or was I the passive engager in my demise? Was it an easier path to remain at the Lazarus Estate?