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Thank the Goddess for the warm, solid presence of the boulder beneath his hand, because it was the only thing keeping Rusty grounded as he struggled to digest words he’d never expected to hear in this lifetime.

“Not once did he ask for forgiveness or try to excuse the things he’d said and done over the years,” Flame said. “All he said was that he regretted it and had missed out on a bunch of amazing moments by not being a part of our lives.”

“Well, we’re grown. As far as I’m concerned, he’s decades too late coming to that conclusion, so, if we’re done here, let me give you a piece of advice you shouldn’t need,” Rusty said. “Take it with a grain of salt and move on. Your head and priorities are twisted up enough without him adding to it.”

“I think he was trying to set me straight,” Flame muttered when Rusty started to turn away from the sunset view. “Wanted me to think about making changes before it was too late. Too bad he was late, as usual. My bondmark finally appeared. You’re going to love this. Emari rejected me on principle. Said he had heard more stories than he cared to and wanted nothing to do with me.”

Screech!

Rusty needed a moment to sort through the layers, shoving the conversation with their old man to the wayside because it sure as hell seemed like the man was dying and trying to make his peace after everything Flame said. Maybe he wasn’t willing to admit it yet, but there was no other reason Rusty could think of for their Pops to say the things he had. Rusty chose to focus on the hurt he heard in Flame’s voice instead and the way he sat curled in on himself, eyes on the horizon, shimmering with unshed tears. He could barely recall the last time he’d seen Flame cry, and it had been because of a promise their Pops had failed to keep.

One of many.

“I thought you weren’t interested in a mate?” Rusty said, recalling a volatile conversation they’d had the first time Rusty had suggested they attend a gathering in the hopes of seeing their bondmarks appear.

Flame flipped his hands over and shrugged as a single tear slid down his cheek. “He made it sound like the worst thing in the world was to be mated. No freedom. The death of every dream. Always having to check in with someone or deal with them wanting to know where you were going and when you’d be home. You remember what the fighting was like when we were pups. The way we’d look for a quiet spot outside to curl up until they were done yelling at one another or run to Nana’s place. Who’d want a life like that?”

“Not you, you’ve always made that clear.”

Another sigh. More silence. Rusty climbed back up on the boulder and waited patiently this time. If Flame had second thoughts about some of the things he’d picked up from the dead-beat wolf who didn’t deserve the title of father, then Rusty was willing to hear him out.

“That beer he offered me,” Flame began, voice heavy with the hurt and sadness that weighed on him, “I’ve been waiting for that moment since we were old enough for him to slip us one without catching too much shit from anyone else. I always figured that one day he’d see that I was just like him and he’d wanna spend time with me. For a few minutes I thought I was finally going to get what I’d always wanted, then he yanked the rug out from under me the way he always does.”

“And that comes as a shock to you? Any interaction with him is at your own risk, you know that. I’ll never understand why you thought it would be a good idea to try and imitate that bastard.”

Flame’s response was more heavy silence. At this point Rusty gave up on getting pup time tonight and reached out to his mates to let them know he was going to be late and why. Once upon a time, he’d have bristled at that too, but he’d been looking at it with the same mindset as Flame, and they both knew where they’d learned it from.

His mates’ responses mirrored one another missing him and warning him to be careful on the trail coming home. He promised he would, swatted a mosquito, and marveled at the darkening crimson streaks spreading out over the surface of Comet Lake.

“Nothing ever bothered him,” Flame said, startling Rusty, who’d let his mind wander to thoughts of the elk steaks that were to grace the dinner table tonight thanks to Baz and Logan’s successful hunt a few nights before.

“Because he was a selfish son of a bitch who only cared about himself,” Rusty pointed out.

“Better than being in tears all the damn time,” Flame growled.

There was the snarky asshole Rusty loved, even when he wanted to dropkick him across the river.

“Mom was always crying, and I caught Dad sobbing more than once instead of standing up to the fucker and telling him to get out if he hated it there so bad!” Flame snapped. “Maybe he would have walked out sooner and…”

“I know,” Rusty said, slinging his arm over Flame’s shoulder. He knew where Flame’s thoughts had been headed and why he didn’t finish the statement. “But that’s not what happened. There’s no changing the past.”

“Sometimes I wish there were.”

“As long as you know it won’t get you anywhere, feel free to wish all you want,” Rusty replied. “I do it all the time.”

“Yeah?” Flame said, turning to look at him, eyes red rimmed from the tears he hadn’t attempted to wipe off his face. “Why? Would think you have everything a wolf could dream of.”

“Right now, I wish you’d learn that you can have a default setting other than asshole,” Rusty replied. “If you can work that part out, you might have a shot at everything else.”

“I’m not always an asshole,” Flame grumbled.

“No, you’re not, which is what makes it worse,” Rusty replied. “Because if you were an asshole all the time, I’d have gotten on my snowmobile and driven away when you called my name. But I’ve seen you share your food with critters when you think no one’s paying attention. I know you didn’t ride on that Red River Outlaws mission just so you could crack skulls. You might have stood there sneering while the rest of us were offering comfort to the shifters we freed, but I recognized the t-shirt and jacket Echo left the forest wearing.”

“Wild asked for clothes for the owls, I just happened to be near enough that he saw me.”

“Uh-huh,” Rusty said, tugging his brother closer. “Make light of it all you want, but I grew up with you, remember?”

Flame stiffened for a moment, then relaxed against Rusty as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon.