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I was up feeding at three in the morning. Law hadn’t been in the room since his mama left around ten. We hadn’t said two words to each other since we talked in the room earlier. It was odd staying in the same house as him and not being able to touch or play like we usually would. After I fed her, she burped and I laid her down in her bed. The light was on downstairs which was usual. Law always went to bed with at least one light on in the house. I slowly made my way down the steps to go and turn it off.

“I didn’t forget to turn the light off. I’m still up,” Law’s voice startled me.

“Oh, okay, my bad.”

“Can you come here for a minute?”

“I need to be in bed. Plus, the baby up there by herself.”

“She’s four days old, Summer, what the hell is she going to do? Climb out her baby bed and hit the floor? Just come here real quick.”

I didn’t want to go. If I went and sat beside Law, then my feelings were going to rush back. My emotions were still high and I didn’t want to cry or get outraged in front of him because he wanted to beg and tell me how much he was sorry. I took the seat next to him and my heart started racing.

Law had tears running down his face as he leaned his back on the sofa. He stared at the ceiling fan for the longest before he finally opened his mouth to say something.

“I know you tired of hearing me say sorry and shit but I think you really need to understand something.” He tried to touch me but I wouldn’t let him. “You mean the world to me and I got the craziest way of showing it. I asked you to be my wife and I still want that. If it takes me the rest of my life to show you, I’ll do it. Pinkie ain’t shit to me but a quick ass fuck. She’s never been my type.”

“Shittin’ me. You went back time and time again. She was definitely your type.”

“Shut up and let me finish. Pinkie gave me something that every man wants. The shit was exciting knowing that I could possibly have a side bitch that wouldn’t run her mouth. I didn’t realize that even though she didn’t run her mouth, everything done in the dark will come to the light. I went in that shit telling her, I was never leaving you. She knew what the fuck was going on and didn’t care. Muthafuckas like her live for this shit. She had me and some more niggas but she wanted me more than I wanted her. I never gave her any room to think that she would ever be number one.” Law took a minute to wipe his face.

“If we don’t work out, I hope we can at least be around each other for Reign. When I say around each other, I mean without fussing and showing the hate between us. Whatever y’all need, I got it. I don’t care if the shit ain’t made yet, I’ll go to a muthafucka and get it made.”

“Law, shut up.” I laughed.

“I’m dead ass. You know how much I spent on your ring?”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Where is your ring?” He asked, grabbing my hand.

“It’s upstairs. What do I need to wear it for?”

He rubbed his head and stared at the ceiling fan again. When he didn’t speak for a few minutes, I thought he was through, so I got up.

“Sit down!”

“Damn, what else you got to say?”

45. LAW

“I’ve been diagnosed with cancer,” I broke the news to Summer.

I knew the day they released me from the hospital, but it was supposed to be such a joyous time with the birth of my daughter that I didn’t want to dampen the mood. This was the reason I was adamant about being with Summer. They caught it early so hopefully, with a few rounds of radiation, I could be good.

“What…you got what?” The tears flowed from her face.

“Pancreatic cancer. We caught it early, though.”

Seeing Summer cry let me know she didn’t hate me as much as she put on.

“What am I supposed to do without you? What am I going to tell my daughter?”

“Damn, you act like a nigga finna die or some shit. Calm down, baby. My mama doesn’t even know, and I want to keep it that way unless shit goes to looking bad. I’m not going anywhere any time soon.”

I pulled her into me and let her cry in my chest. Shit, I had cried for days now trying to figure out how to tell her. This was harder than her catching me cheating. For four days I thought about how she was going to make it without me. There was enough money for her and my mama but money wasn’t the issue. It was my presence that was going to be missing.

“Come on, let me help you back in bed.” I picked Summer up and toted her upstairs to the bed.