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“Aight, aight. I’ll try to do better again, but have some grace too, Nikki.”

“Okay, I will.”

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me until she was sitting on my lap.

“Look, what we got is good. You kno’ I’ll never play I yo’ face. Pops raised us to be men. Besides, I’m not tryin’ to be like Rah wit’ all these damn kids runnin’ ‘round.”

“I trust you, Shameek. I just miss you being here.”

“I’ll do better,” I told her, kissing her softly. “Matter of fact, come stay with me tonight.”

“I got to work tomorrow,” she whined. “Your place is an hour away from my job.”

I hated that she worked, but Nikki said it kept her from being bored all day. She knew she had access to anything she wanted, but she still decided to go and work with her family. I got it because technically I was doing the same shit.

“I’m tryin’, Nikki. But it’s cool. We’ll try another night,” I told her as I let her up and focused back on my food.

It was like she wanted one thing from me and when I tried, it was a barrier stopping her. She rarely ever wanted to come to my place because she said it was too far. Yet, she wanted to be my woman. The shit was confusing, but I wouldn’t trade her for anyone else because I could trust her with all my secrets.

CHAPTER 6

AVERIE

The sound of feet running through my house had become my favorite alarm clock. Before I could even stretch good, Kaiden burst through my bedroom door with Khari right behind him.

“Mama!”

I groaned and reached for my phone on the nightstand. It was only eight twenty-two.

“It ain’t even nine yet,” I moaned.

Kaiden ignored me and climbed in the bed anyway.

“Ms. Kyenna said she was going to make breakfast for us,” Khari said.

“How do you know that?” I peeked from under my cover to look at her.

“She texted Kaiden,” Khari said.

I was still on the fence about sharing my kids with her. No, she never gave me a reason not to trust her with them. Khari loved her. It was just me being a little protective. They were all I had left of Rah. It was now my responsibility to protect them. The last few weeks had been hard for all of us. My son tried his best to be the strong big brother, but I caught him crying in the shower twice. Khari didn’t understand death the way we did.

“Alright,” I finally said. “Both of y’all go brush your teeth and wash your face. We’ll leave in an hour.”

Saturday mornings used to be my day. Rah would’ve picked the kids up from school on Thursday, and I wouldn’t see them until Sunday night. It didn’t matter what we were going through; he got his kids. All three of them. I sat on the side of my bed thinking about what I was going to get into while they were gone. I had finally decided to go back to work next week. I just needed the time to grieve and make sure my kids were okay. Getting up from the bed, I headed to my bathroom to get myself cleaned up. Afterwards, I headed to the laundry room to grab Khari’s favorite pajamas that I had just washed.

At an hour exactly, my kids were waiting for me in the living room. Originally, I was going to have Shameek come and pick them up. I think it was time for me to face going to that house if my kids were going to be there. Kaiden grabbed both of their bags as we headed out the door. As we drove over, I prepped myself to face Kyenna. We hadn’t talked at all. Besides the slick comments after Rah died. He made sure we never got close to Kyenna. I never understood why he was so protective of her and not us. Maybe it was just my broken heart overthinking.

“Can y’all please be on your best behavior?” I asked, as the gate opened for us.

“Yes ma’am,” Khari said.

“Kaiden…”

“Mama, I am not about to be disrespectful. I know better. I just want to be close to my daddy.”

Before I could fully park, Khari was pulling at the door handle.

“Girl, slow down.”