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“I slept with him,” she whispers, in shock. “I mean last time was bad enough but this … it’s too much.”

“It’s okay,” I soothe, for lack of anything I can tell her that’s actually true.

“How could I do this to Alex?” she cries.

“This was going to happen eventually. You and Alex just met too young.”

“No,” she wails. “I don’t even like Paul, and Alex is perfect for me.”

I rub her back, and wait for her to calm down on her own. I suspect anything I can say will make things worse.

She raises her tear-stained face. “Why did I do it? Alex is everything I want in a husband.”

“Just because he’s everything you want doesn’t necessarily mean that you want him, though,” I tell her. “Honestly, Ginny, I think maybe you’ve been bored for a long time. I mean, were you really going to marry the first guy you slept with?”

This makes her cry harder. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I never had any great sentiment attached to losing my virginity, but she did. “I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I know it was a big deal to you.”

She begins crying and laughing simultaneously. “No, you’re totally right. Paul was so much better at it than Alex. I had no idea it could be that good. It wasn’t even like the same activity.” She laughs again and then begins sobbing. “I have to break up with him, don’t I?”

“Seems like a good idea.”

That sets off a new wave of crying, while she protests that she loves him, that she’ll never love anyone that much, that he was so perfect and she ruined it, just like James ruined things with Allison. I’m glad she doesn’t see my face when she utters that last bit. The tears go on for hours. Or maybe it just feels like hours because every minute I spend rubbing her back is a minute I spend guiltily wishing I was back downstairs with her brother.

Chapter 44

In the morning he’s waiting for me. He hands me my coffee. “Almond milk and lots of sugar,” he grins.

“You noticed,” I say. Thank God no one’s down here right now to hear the absolute adoration in my voice.

“I notice everything about you,” he says, stepping closer, running his fingers over my mouth. That small action is all it takes for my adoration to fire into something else. “I’ve spent every waking minute since you left my room thinking about last night.”

He lowers his mouth, breathing into me, removing the coffee from my hand and pressing me against the counter. The kiss deepens and the next thing I know I’m being lifted, pressed against him in all the right places, his tongue sweeping mine.

“My room,” he says. “Right now.”

“Yes,” I breathe, sliding off the counter into his waiting hands, just as the front door slams.

“Fuck,” pants James, resting his forehead against mine. “I think we need our own place.” He backs away just as Max walks in.

“Was I interrupting something?” he smirks.

“No,” we say simultaneously. Both of us sound way too guilty. Max rolls his eyes.

“Is Ginny okay?” James asks me.

“What’s wrong with Ginny?” Max follows, looking anxious. He talks a good game, but he really does care about her, I think.

“Nothing,” I lie. Max is probably the last person Ginny would want to know about this. “I think she’s just having some problems with Alex.”

“What kind of problems?” he asks.

I shrug. “I’m not sure she’s as into it as she was.”

James raises a brow. Her hallway confessional last night revealed a lot more than that.

When I hear Ginny moving around I go upstairs to check on her. Her eyes are red and raw but she is no longer crying.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.