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Beneath him, I'm stiff as a board. This is awful. I can't believe Bright Covenant told me this was a special experience you should save for your wedding night. This is an awful experience that should be done under anesthesia.

I say none of this to him, though. I assume it must get better, or the world's population would be far lower than it is. And he's waited half a year for me and has been far more patient than any other guy at Penhallow would have been in his place.

He pulls out and pushes in. It still really hurts, but I love the way he's fighting for control. “Give me a minute,” he pleads, buried deep inside me.

When he pulls out again...it's less awful than it was. Still awful, but I think maybe I don’t mind. My hands slide from his back to his ass, I widen my legs and⁠—

“Oh God,” he says as he pushes in. “Fuck.” He jerks inside me, three quick jabs, his eyes squeezed shut.

Just as I was starting to think I might like it...it's done.

“Grace,” he says, his voice heavy and slow, as if he's underwater. He laughs against my neck. “We will never discuss how fast that was.”

“I'd be insulted if it wasn't kind of fast,” I tell him. He pulls out of me, ties the condom off and goes to the bathroom to flush it. When he returns, he pulls me to his chest.

“How bad was it?”

I glance at him. “Honestly? Terrible. It really hurt.”

He pinches my side. “You were supposed to tell me it was the most magical moment of your life.”

“If men had to endure that, they'd be given a sedative first.”

A laugh vibrates in his chest. “You're having a really hard time finding a way to say it was awesome. And you seemed so good with words in English class.”

“At least you’ll know I’m telling the truth when I do tell you it was amazing.”

“So, you’re saying we’ll be doing it again. Even though it was terrible.”

“I suppose it wasn’t that terrible at the end. I could probably be persuaded to try it a second time.”

“Does now work?” he asks. He’s already lengthening, pressed to my thigh.

“Yeah,” I reply. “Now works.”

He gets another condom and climbs above me, but he doesn’t push in. Instead, he draws my nipples into his mouth—right, then left. He nips gently with his teeth, then tugs harder.

I forget to be nervous. I forget everything except the feel of his mouth and the way my body comes off the bed, needing more. His thumb sweeps between my legs, moving in small circles there. His length is pressed to my thigh, impossibly hard.

“More,” I whisper. “I want you inside me.”

He groans against my breast. “Grace,” he says, a warning, his eyes suddenly feverish in the dim light.

But he lifts himself from my side and settles between my thighs at last.

His erection bumps against the places his fingers discovered only moments ago and I inhale sharply, an involuntary plea. I lift my hips and he pushes inside me at last, not slow or careful this time but in a single long slide.

It’s still tender, but not that sharp, cramping pain of the time before. He pulls out and pushes in and my skin heats. Something deep inside me demands even more, clenching around him, and he moans in response.

He braces himself above me, moving in perfect, even thrusts. I arch to meet him, seeking that moment when he's deep inside me, wanting the friction of it.

“Can you come like this?” he asks, his voice gravel and desperation.

“Yes.” I claw at him like an animal, my hands on his ass. I’m not even sure what I need him to do, but at my desperate whine he pistons faster, and his mouth tugs at my neck, and out of nowhere every muscle seems to squeeze tight.

“Grace,” he warns.

My orgasm begins at the base of my spine, a sharp, gasping surprise. I dig my nails into his back, and he moans against my neck as he lets go too.