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“You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,” he tells me as a song ends and we prepare to go our separate ways.

It's only as my friends are starting to talk about leaving that I realize I haven't been self-conscious about any of this tonight—the dress, the dancing, the happiness.

Last fall, I thought I lacked some gene necessary to become one of those uncomplicated girls who bent and swayed by Lauren's pool. Being the girl that Ford James chose, the girl Ford James looks at as if she's the only star in the sky, has taught me that I have less to worry about than I thought.

“You guys got your stuff?” asks Theo, tipping his head toward the door.

I’m searching a pile for my purse when Georgia Williams walks up.

She's never said a single word to me—I'm surprised she's even aware that I exist.

“Hey,” she says quietly, her mouth set in a grim line. “Watch your back tonight.”

I blink. The phrase might be perceived as a threat, but something in her tone tells me it's simply a warning—one she'd prefer not to give.

I turn toward her. “What are you talking about?”

She sighs and looks over her shoulder. “Just don't do anything dumb, okay?”

She walks away before I can ask her precisely which dumb thing I shouldn't do. Because I'm about to do several of them—attend a big Penhallow party that could get reported to my dad, lie about my whereabouts, lose my virginity to Ford James.

Except she doesn't know I'm doing any of those things.

“What was that?” Kappy asks as we walk to the waiting limo, nodding back in Georgia's direction.

“She told me to watch my back and not to do anything stupid tonight,” I say. “Weird, right?”

“Super weird,” says Kappy. “Doesn't she know we're all doing stupid shit tonight? That's kind of the point.”

I decide not to worry. I’m no longer in the same position I was when I first came to Penhallow: the Kendalls might have yet another prank planned, but I’ll have enough friends at the party that they won’t get away with much.

Matt's party is in full swing by the time we reach the house. I can see now why Ford is self-conscious, if all his friends are this well off: it's a four-story beach house with multiple decks and outdoor bars. It also has two pools—I can't imagine a life where you'd need more than one.

My friends and I have just reached the main level, looking down on the crowd, when Ford comes up beside me and tips his head toward the far end of the bar, where no one else stands. “Hey,” he says, his hand brushing mine. “You want a drink?”

My pulse drums in my throat. “Sure?”

He smiles at my uncertainty. “You don't have to drink.”

I meet his gaze. “I'm a little nervous.”

His hand rests on my hip for a half-second. “We aren't doing anything you don't want to do. You can change your mind at any point.”

“I'm not gonna change my mind.”

He bites his lip. “Good. But just know that you can.”

We separate—him to his friend group and me to mine—so that word doesn’t get back to Leila that we were together.

My friends and I sing and dance. I know the words now. Lauren is seriously buzzed and hugging everyone, including me. “This is what the next four years are going to be like for us!” she cries, too drunk to remember that I’m not going to college and unaware that I actually am going to college, I hope—I’ve only told Kappy and Ford, just to be safe.

Could life really be like this? Could it be this free? This fun? I’m sure it can’t. Adults don’t seem happy all the time, whether they’re in New Hope or outside of it. But at least they’ve got the option.

Kappy clutches my hand, pulling me to a corner to chat. “You ready?” she asks. “I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but alas, the actor who plays Jamie has not accepted any lewd offer I've made on Instagram.”

I laugh. “He's Scottish. It's probably the distance. And yes, I'm ready. Just don't leave without me.”

“I'm not going anywhere until I've heard every dirty detail,” she promises. “And not to treat your first sexual encounter like it's a UFC fight, but when is this getting underway?”