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I struggle to get my heart rate back down and recover, but when I can feel my body again, I wrap my arms around his neck. “Thank you. That made me feel really good.”
He grins. “Anytime.”
His rock-hard erection presses between us, and I run a hand down his chest to between his legs, but he pulls my hand away.
“Ansel, let me—”
He shakes his head. “This was about making you feel good, not me.” He kisses me slowly.
I taste myself on his tongue, and it only stokes the fire of my libido again.
When he pulls away, he kisses the tip of my nose. “Should we throw those hot chocolates in the microwave to heat them back up?”
I chuckle and press my cheek to his chest. “Let’s just stay like this for a little longer.”
He rests his cheek on top of my head, and we stand with our arms wrapped around each other.
Ansel is the one to break the silence. “What are you going to do for the anniversary of Caleb’s death?”
Last year, there was a ceremony at the fire station, but I didn’t have it in me to join them. The chief reached out last week to let me know that there would be one again this year, and it’s been on my mind since.
“I’m going to go to the ceremony at the fire station, then I’m going to come home and write my letter to Caleb.”
Ansel stills beneath my hands as though he’s surprised by my answer. “Yeah?”
I nod into his chest. “Yeah. I’d already decided a while back that the anniversary would be the day I’d write the letter. That’s part of the reason I wanted to know everything that was in those text messages.”
The final step after the letter will be to remove my wedding rings.
“There’s something else I’ve been wondering…”
There’s hesitancy in his voice, so I pull back a bit to meet his gaze.
“Are you going to tell anyone about Caleb’s affair?”
It’s a fair question, one I’ve been asking myself. I’d never go broadcasting it around like a scorned woman, but will I purposely hide it from people?
“I don’t know. I’m angry as hell at him, but I don’t want to unnecessarily tarnish his good name after his death. I’m sure I’ll talk about it with the ones I’m closest to at some point. I already told Nina.”
He nods as though that’s how he expected me to answer.
“I’ve been debating whether I should tell Caleb’s parents.”
“Why would you do that?”
“They have a grandchild they know nothing about.”
Ansel pushes his hand through his hair. “Shit, I hadn’t thought about that.”
“I feel like they have a right to know, but that would be opening a whole can of worms for them. I’m outing that their son had an affair at the same time. I need to think about it for a while. I don’t want to make any rash decisions I can’t take back.”
He nods. “Sure, that makes sense.”
“Listen, Ansel, I know you must have your own feelings about this whole situation, independent of anything going on between us. If you want to tell Fowler so you can talk to him about it, that’s fine. He was as close to Caleb as you were.”
Relief crosses his face. “Thank you. I’ve been wanting to bring it up to you, but I wanted to give you time to deal with everything before I asked, but yeah, I really want to talk to Fowler about it.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m not the only one who has feelings to resolve around this whole thing.”