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“Human?”

I couldn’t respond.

“Aw, Mordecai. They’re all like that.”

“No. He’s different.”

“He’s not. What he does is make you long for the past.”

Is that so wrong? I wanted to ask, but Cristofer kept talking, and the moment passed.

“Have you gone and corrupted him? Is that the problem? You’re worried about his mortal soul. His virtue?”

“Could you stop being an arse? I’ve put him in danger. I’ve told him too much. He’s determined to help. Thinks he’s going to protect me.”

Cristofer howled. “Oh, such a stupid mortal.”

“Stop calling him that.”

“I won’t. Facts are facts, and unless you are willing to bring him into our world—”

“Never.”

“Then the point is moot. You’ve known the answer all along. I don’t see why you’re acting ignorant. Remove his memories and be done with him. There will always be another.”

“I haven’t located Iulian yet. Ensley’s the only person who can help me.”

Cristofer tsked. “You don’t need the human to assist you in locating the elder. It’s a small city, Mordecai. Where do you think you are? Jakarta? You’re making excuses.”

Was I? I pinched my eyes closed and bowed my head. Of course I was. What I wanted was for Cristofer to tell me how to make the feelings stop. Men in the past never had names. They filled a need and vanished come dawn. If they had jobs or families or hobbies or friends, I knew nothing of it. It was easier that way.

But Ensley. Ensley was flesh and bone. He had all those things and more. He laughed and joked and took men on dates to restaurants and museums.

“You know what I think?” Cristofer said, his tone demure.

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“I think you aren’t finished having your fun. I think, for once in your immortal life, you’ve found something to your taste.”

“I will not feed from him.”

“That isn’t what I meant, although I highly suggest trying it sometime. You might be surprised and decide you like it.”

Damn Cristofer. I knew before I placed the call what I had to do, but I wanted him to talk me out of it. Find me another way. Knock some bloody sense into me. By the dam, it had taken a Herculean effort to implant a suggestion into Ensley’s head and encourage him to go home. I should have blurred his mind completely, removed every memory of me and what we’d shared. I could have turned my back for good.

But every time I closed my eyes, I saw him sprawled on my bed in complete surrender. Brimming with trust. His moans and whimpers and fiery touch. The feel of his racing heart under my palm. His mouth. His taste.

The way he held me afterward, like I meant something. Like I was real and alive and human.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take his memories and turn my back. Not yet. I wanted more time. Ensley might go on with life oblivious to all we’d shared, but I would carry every moment with me forever. One night wasn’t enough.

Torn between duty and selfish indulgence, the latter had won. I’d left his mind intact. For now.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Cristofer said into the silence.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, Mordecai.”