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Crisp leaves rustle in the winter air, and I take a deep breath. The air out here is so clean.

I take a sip of the coffee and let out a soft hum as I pull my legs onto the couch. Wordlessly, Kieran offers me a piece of his blanket, and I drape it over my lap, pointedly ignoring the fact that we went from acquaintances to sharing a blanket within less than twelve hours.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, it was alright," I mumble into my mug and take another sip.

"Sorry for taking them out here without telling you. I heard them whine in the middle of the night, and when I went downstairs, Blanche kept nudging my knee, which I took as a sign of ‘let me out right this second or you can scrub a pee stain out of your carpet.’ So I went, and then the other dogs wanted to join, and—"

I lift my free hand, put it over his mouth, and watch him from the corner of my eyes. "It's okay. I’m only glad they didn’t run off."

For a moment we stare at each other, my hand still on his face. The slightest stubble scratches my fingertips, and his lips are soft against my palm.

Fuck.

His eyes are so damn blue up close. I always thought the whole getting lost in someone's eyes attempt at flirting was dumb and over the top. Now I get it.

His eyebrow twitches upward, and I quickly retract my hand, put my palm around the mug again, and clear my throat.

"You don't need to fill every silence, Kieran." I take another sip of my coffee, then subtly hide my face behind it as warmth rises in my cheeks. "Shut up and drink your coffee."

Soft snowflakes fall from the sky, and I let out a happy hum. The first proper snow of the season.

Dick perks up, gets on his feet, and shakes his entire body. A flake lands on his nose, and he tries to reach it with his tongue. Then he notices all the other flakes falling and sprints off the porch, jumping all over the lawn in his attempt to catch some.

Kieran lets out a deep sigh, and a bunch of tension leaves his shoulders.

"There you go," I say through a yawn behind my mug and try to not stare.

What if…

I lower my mug to my lap, lean my head against his shoulder, and take a deep breath. I need this. Some calm. Only one moment.

For a second, he stiffens.

Once he realizes I have no intention of moving, he relaxes and moves his arm until it rests on the back of the couch, and I can lean into his side better.

If we're starting over, I might as well allow myself to have this one little moment before I return to the shitshow my life has recently become.

Chapter 12

Kieran

“Seriously? Oh my god, Micah, you're an angel. Thank you so much." Brooke returns to the living room with a newfound spring in her step and marginally less weight on her shoulders.

"What’s up?" I'm on the ground, hanging out with my new bestie, Daisy. She's so cute. And fluffy. And so much calmer and cuddlier than Dick. Plus, she's got black fur, which is not as visible on my clothes, so I can cuddle her to my heart's content without having to worry about boring things such as laundry. Thank God nobody I know is allergic to pets.

"Micah, my parents' farmhand agreed to let me and the animals use his cabin until the whole shelter situation is resolved," she explains and plops on the ground next to me. Rose and Blanche immediately trot over to demand pets from her.

"That's great," I stare straight ahead, trying to sound enthusiastic about it.

It is great.

Yet a pang of disappointment shoots through me, and I can’t bring myself to be happy. I enjoy having her here. Well, I could do with fewer animals weaseling around my feet and making me scared to step on them. And all the fur. It is a little chaotic.

But Brooke? Now that she doesn't despise me anymore, it's nice to have her around.

What a lie. It was also nice before. Kind of refreshing, in fact, to have someone around who won’t let me get away with shit.