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"Oh, but on the bright side." She turns to me with a smile that rivals the neon lights in this store. "Hudson is adopting Morticia and Gomez. They are going to live in a divorce lawyer's office. Isn't that hilarious?"

"Are you serious?" Once she nods, I burst into laughter. "Oh my God, Brooke, that's amazing."

"Right? All credit to Evan, though. It was his idea to ask Hudson."

"Sometimes he does have good ideas." I chuckle and turn the cart into the next aisle. "Now, Brooke, how do you feel about hot chocolate?"

Chapter 17

Kieran

“'Tis the season to be jolly,” I sing lowly and set down a dog-high pile of string lights in front of my porch.

Time to decorate my house. Aka time to distract myself, because my thoughts have been too loud to deal with.

I had a way-too-realistic dream tonight. It was so real; I could almost taste it, and it catapulted me right into my seasonal depression, hard and fast, without mercy.

In my dream, Ella and I were munching on my mom's Christmas cookies, bundled up under thick blankets in front of our TV and watching Winnie Pooh chase a letter he was supposed to send to Santa, while sipping on hot chocolate.

Mom was rustling about the kitchen and softly humming Christmas songs. The scent of hot butter, sugar, and cinnamon filled the air. Dad was at work, as he always was.

It felt so real; it could have been a resurfacing memory. Maybe it's my inner child showing me what I lost, only to poke the wound. Whatever it was, it brought my mood down from the moment I woke up.

Not because the dream was bad. No, because it was too good, and I had to wake up and face reality. A reality where will never experience a serene Christmas time morning with my family like in my dream again.

The warmth from the hot chocolate, the blanket around my shoulders, and the warmth around my heart when I was still innocent enough to think they loved me unconditionally.

Waking up from it fucked with my head. Badly.

And since Evan is too busy to clear his schedule and, I don't know, give me a nipple piercing, or something, I'm going to distract myself by decorating my house and chasing the Christmas time high the dream gave me for as long as I was in it.

First order of business: The giant, creepy inflatable Santa I bought to stalk Lauren. Before I even have it out of its box, footsteps draw closer with a soft, muffled crunch on the thin blanket of snow on the ground.

"Are you decorating?" Of course, Lauren would appear. She's the Bloody Mary of Christmas. You only need to think the word three times, and she appears out of nowhere, ready to decorate and demand a hot chocolate.

"Are you a mind reader?"

"No, but I saw you come out of your house with approximately 50 miles of string lights by chance." She points at the pile and rubs her hands with the cunningness of a James Bond villain, staring at the decor like a child at its presents on Christmas morning. She’s all but buzzing in her spot.

"Dearest Lauren, number one Christmas decorator in town, would you please help me?" I ask with a chuckle I can't quite find in myself to make sound real.

"Why, yes, Kieran, absolutely." She pats my arm happily. "I would love to help you. Thank you so much for asking." Oblivious to my inner turmoil, she immediately buries her hand in the string light pile.

"Great." I clear my throat and subtly take a few steps away from it. "You can detangle these while I put up my Santa." She shoots me a glare over her shoulder, but I’m already halfway around the corner. "Thank you, you're the best."

I grab the extension cord I hung from my kitchen window and plug into Santa’s air pump. Thankfully, I don't need to sit out here and blow it up by myself, breath by breath. My lungs would hate me by the five-minute mark.

A thud against the window makes me turn around. Dick is pressing his nose against the living room window, revealing his upper teeth as he watches me.

"You're such a dork," I tease him through the glass and flick some snow at him. Then I turn around and watch the plastic foil turn into a Santa Claus. I could leave it be, but maybe I'm procrastinating returning to Lauren until I'm sure she's got the string lights detangled.

"Kieran, where's your ladder?"

Now that is my cue. With a groan, I get up and walk back to the front of my house.

"Oh, hey, Kylie, Nic. When did you get here?" My face is about to fall, but I catch myself at the last second.

Get yourself together, Kieran. You wanted distraction? Now you have it.