Page 82
Brooke
When the little bell above the shelter entrance chimes, my thoughts are still deep in the World Wide Web and social media.
"Did you forget something?" I ask without taking my eyes off the screen, because I’m saving what must be the 100th link to a well-performing video as inspiration for later.
If I gather enough of them, analyze them meticulously from the first second to the last, I can find the perfect formula for social media videos, right? Then again, wouldn't everyone do it?
Maybe it's too easy to be true after all.
"I come bearing Christmas decor." That voice doesn’t belong to Hannah. I glance up. My lips stretch into a smile the moment I see Kieran, holding up two giant bags.
"Is my decor not Christmassy enough for you?" I point at the lone wreath swaying on our door.
"Not even in the slightest." He sets the bags on the counter, then leans over it, lips pursed. I follow his silent demand and lean in for a quick kiss.
"You want to know the truth?" He takes off his scarf and chucks it onto the couch.
I raise my eyebrow at him. “Obviously.”
"I need some distraction." He lets out a deep sigh, shrugging off his jacket. Dick is already on the couch, face buried in Kieran’s scarf and ready for a nap. He doesn't even blink when Kieran throws his jacket on top of him. He lets out a yawn, though.
I watch Kieran. He's not meeting my eyes anymore and subconsciously rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably, which tells me it's the truth.
"Okay." I open the first bag and discover fake pine garlands. If he needs distraction from whatever it is, who am I to deny him that as long as it doesn’t harm any animals here?
"Knock yourself out.”
“Yay!” He reaches for the first back with the excitement of a six-year-old getting permission to open his birthday presents.
“Wait.” He freezes, his hand inside it. “First, do you promise to also take down the Christmas decor come January?"
"Scout's honor." He holds up his hand with a tight grin that doesn't reach his eyes.
"Okay.” I will let the fake smile slide today, because he seems off, but from the look he's shooting me, he knows I‘m not thrilled about it.
"I can't guarantee you will get all the decor back in one piece, though." I round the counter to find some tape and nails to hang the garlands up. I already know Bean and Luna will try to play with it and tear it down at one or several points.
"That's okay." Kieran shrugs and clears his throat. "It means I can come in again and hang up more." He grabs a chair and climbs on it, extending his hand for the nails and hammer I'm holding. “Assistant. Hammer, please.”
I put it in his hand, fighting the urge to poke him with one of the nails. Assistant. I’ll give him an assistant.
Then again, the chair doesn’t appear the steadiest. Maybe assisting this once is fine.
"Have you always been such a Christmas fan?"
Instead of an answer, he hammers the first nail into the wall above the window. Staring at the nail, he extends his hand again, and I hand him one end of the garland.
"No," he admits through nails he’s holding between his lips and fumbles the garland over the nail. "But Christmas was the last big holiday I celebrated with my family before they kicked me out." Suddenly he goes silent, as if he can’t believe he shared that with me.
"Oh, Kieran," I say, and give his arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm so sorry." Right. He moved in with my family in January. Of course, Christmas and the end of the year would be a tough time.
"It is what it is." He shakes his head and climbs off the chair to move it to the middle of the window and do the same thing again. "Life is what you make it, and all. I will cope with it. And I will pretend I'm okay and surround myself with things that bring me joy, then crash out in private."
More hammering. Then he holds out his hand again.
"Isn't it better to feel the sadness, though? Find some closure?" I grab the garland and keep it ready to hand over.
"No," he chuckles, but it's a cold sound that sends goosebumps all over my arms, and when he meets my eyes, my breath hitches with the amount of pain I see in them.
