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“If you train them to.”

“So why do they make terrible pets then? That sounds kind of awesome.”

“Well, they get like super obsessed with their masters. And jealous. They need tons of attention and if you don’t give it to them they bite. And their teeth are very sharp. Plus, you have to buy them in pairs because they so easily get lonely and feral. Adonis specifically asked for something he didn’t really have to take care of. So giving him two needy monkeys seems like a bad idea. Plus they’d probably get jealous of me.”

Scarlett shook her head. “Okay, monkeys are out then. But you don’t like any of the kittens we’ve looked at either. What about that hyper little guy from the last store? He wasn’t docile.”

“He seemed to need a lot of attention too...” my voice trailed off when I saw a big furry white cat in a cage nearby. He looked kind of sad. Hm. I walked over to the cage and stared at the laminated piece of paper describing him. Larry was three. And instead of a list of things he loved like the other cats had, he had a list of things he hated:

-Belly rubs

-Being brushed

-Dry food

-Wet food

-Other animals

-Laughter

-Confined spaced

-The name Larry

-Children

-Adults

-Music

-Silence

-The color blue

-Squeaky cat toys

-Other cat toys

-Being scratched behind his ears

-The color red

-Not biting

-Being petted

-Baby talk

-Staring contests

Huh. I glanced over at the cat food on the endcap next to his cage. The only options were wet food and dry food. And he hated both? Really?

I pressed my lips together as I stared at his sad little face. Was it possible that Larry was just misunderstood? I knew what it was like to be a picky eater. Or rather, I knew what it meant to like what you liked.

I grabbed a can of wet food and pulled the lid back. And then I grabbed a bag of dry food.

“What are you doing?” Scarlett asked.