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I looked back in the direction of Maddy’s room, and couldn’t help but feel like I was missing something. Not unlikely, under the circumstances. I wondered how much exactly happened last year. The more thought I put into it, the more frustrated I became. I should remember.

“They were fooling around.” I swiveled around and looked at my brother. “Last year.”

Aiden had always been the most perceptive of my brothers, so the fact that he knew wasn’t at all a shock.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Nah, don’t think so.”

“You didn’t tell Liam?”

“We don’t share everything, Squirt.”

I raised a brow, and Aiden let out a low laugh. “What, you don’t believe me?”

“I’m just surprised. I don’t think you’ve ever kept anything from each other.”

He shrugged. “It’s more for Jackson’s sake. And Maddy’s.”

I wanted to ask him what happened, but knew he wouldn’t tell me. When someone trusted Aiden with a secret, he kept it close, something he inherited from our Mom.

“Thanks for bringing her,” I told him. “Where’s Jackson?”

“Liam took him home, before he got the chance to lose his shit. It wasn’t pretty…But,” he sighed, righting himself. “They need to sort it out.”

Easier said than done. Maddy and Jackson were two of the most stubborn people I knew.

Aiden wrapped me in his arms, and kissed my temple.

“Need you to know I love you,” he mumbled. My throat constricted, and worked with my swallow. “Can’t imagine a world without you in it.”

I pulled back and lifted my head. “As far as big brother’s go, you’re not so bad.”

He chuckled, and then his expression turned serious. I suspected he wanted to ask me something.

“Do…do you remember anything?”

I exhaled, and for once allowed my exasperation to show. “No, and it’s driving me crazy. I mean, I feel fine, but sometimes I’ll be on campus and it’s like my mind is trying to remember something and it just doesn’t happen.”

“Have you spoken to Connor about it?”

“Not yet. He said there’s a chance I may never remember anything, and honestly, that frightens me. Being back here is harder than I thought it would be.” I hadn’t told anyone how strange this week had been, I’d played it off like it was no big deal, but I trusted Aiden. Everyone else, Maddy included, would just worry, and I didn’t want that anymore. “I feel like there’s this huge hole in my life, and I’m scared that if I don’t take control, it will consume me.”

“So don’t let it,” replied Aiden. He crouched so that we were at eye-level, which was quite a feat considering he was five eleven. “Maybe you should stop trying so hard. If the memories come back, then they come back, and if not, look it as a chance to have a do-over.”

“Do I need a do-over? Did anything significant happen last year?”

Aiden searched my features and then, almost reluctantly, replied, “No.”

He was lying to me, it was written all over his face, and as much as I wanted to press him for more, I was starting to think he was right. Maybe I was trying too hard to get back the time I’d lost. Connor would probably tell me the same thing.

“I need to get home,” said Aiden, “and make sure Jackson hasn’t killed Liam yet.”

“I wish I knew what happened between them. Maddy and Jackson, I mean.” Just like everything else I wished I could remember.

“They’ll either get it right, or walk away. But you don’t need to worry about them.” Aiden kissed my forehead. “Worry about you.”

I let him out after saying goodnight, and fought the urge to sink to the floor. It had only been a week, a goddamn week, and I was already exhausted. I was tired of worrying about what I couldn’t recall, and why I felt the incessant need to fight with my own mind for not working right. I was tired of having my family worry about me too. I was crawling back into bed when an image of Vaughan popped into my head, and the realization that followed is beguiling. Nothing about being on campus had felt familiar — except when I was with him. Which made no sense. None whatsofreakinever.