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“C’mon, Thorin, don’t be like that. It was a mistake, we were just having fun.”

“I’ve already spoken to Alex, and the boys. One more strike, and you’re done. You hear me?”

I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Was Carson the reason Thorin left so fast? Did something happen while he was away? He did tell us at dinner that Carson went off the rails during the last tour, but I didn’t realize it was this bad. Carson lifts his hands just as Benji reappears. “Get him home,” Thorin tells him. “Now.”

Benji nods, and leads Carson outside. Minutes later, the sound of tires shooting gravel travels through the door. Thorin’s breathing is labored, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so angry. Fletch walks back in, and for some odd reason, he heads straight for the nursery to check on Mya and Eli. I’m unable to move, unable to quiet the rush of noise in my head.

“We need to talk,” Thorin tells me. I shake my head, and realize my entire body is trembling. “I’m going to check on Eli,” I say, my voice hoarse. “I need to check on Eli.”

Thorin grabs my hand, and squeezes, but I hardly feel it.

“Fletch and Mya have him, but you and I, we need to talk.”

“About what?” I meet his tumultuous gaze. “What is there to talk about, Thorin?”

He pulls me closer, and my feet move. He looks down at me, and his eyes, they hold so much more than anger. They’re tortured, and I have a feeling it’s about more than Carson. It’s the reason he left without an explanation.

He exhales loudly, and says, “Everything.”

Chapter Seventeen

Reese

“After what just happened, I don’t believe there’s anything for us to talk about,” I tell Thorin, a quiver in my voice. My body is still trembling, and my mind is a war zone, a battle of wills between keeping the past at bay, and allowing it to enter my mind. I did my time, spent months in out-patient therapy, and learned to live a normal life. A life I was happy with, and before losing Ryan and Melissa, one I wouldn’t have changed for anything. But that’s the thing about triggers. They still exist, and have the power to uproot years of progress in a single evening. Or in my case, a matter of minutes. And of course, my one and only trigger will be wondering around my house, looking through what’s mine while I’m not here, and then presume to think I want a family the way I got one.

So, no, I don’t want to talk to Thorin right now, and I don’t care why he left New York, I just want him out of my house.

“I think you should leave,” I whisper.

“Not until we’ve talked.” Thorin’s stubbornness ignites my anger.

“We have nothing to talk about!” I scream. My chest heaves with every breath, and every inhalation feels like I’m breathing in shards of glass.

“Yes, Goddamnit, we do!” Thorin yells back. He closes the space between us in seconds, and hovers over me. I meet his glare with one of my own, refusing to show weakness or trepidation. My trigger might not be here anymore, but now I’m left with the aftermath of what seeing her is doing to me, what it’s making me feel.

“Either you two leave, or I take Mya and Eli up to the main house.”

Mine and Thorin’s heads whip around to Fletch. He straightens, just as tall as Thorin, but his expression holds a warning. “You two want to have at it? By all means, but not with Eli around, yeah?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell Fletch. “You and Thorin can go.”

“Not happening,” Thorin snaps. “Fletch, take Mya and Eli to the main house, please. He has everything he needs there for the night. Reese and I have some shit to sort out.”

I clench my jaw, grind my molars. “We do not.”

Mya comes around the corner, a more subdued Eli in her arms. “I’m with Reese on this one, no way am I leaving her alone with you.” She glowers at Thorin, and then Fletch is whispering something in her ear. He gives her a look—since when do they even have a look?—and she nibbles on the inside of her cheek. “Fine,” she mumbles at him. “You have a point.”

“What’s going on here?” I ask Mya. “You’re leaving?”

“Well, Caveman here,” she flings her hand in Thorns direction, “wants to talk to you, and doesn’t seem like he’s willing to take ‘no’ for an answer. So, we’ll get out of your hair, and when you’re done, I’ll come back. But right now, this little boy needs to go to bed, and he can’t do that with the two of you yelling at each other.” She gives me a look of disappointment, but behind that is also understanding. Perhaps her and Fletch are better equipped to take care of Eli for tonight. The volatility between me and Thorin is too high, and with that comes the shame of my first failure as a guardian. To keep myself in check when Eli is with me, regardless of the situation. He’s had enough turbulence since his birth without me contributing to it. I rub my hands down my face, feeling more exhausted than when we arrived. Mya gives me a side hug, and stomps past Thorin without looking back, Fletch right behind her. He shuts the door, and the ‘click’ echoes around us, punctuated by a heavy silence. Great. I spin on my heel, but Thorin takes my arm before I can go anywhere. “Not so fast.”

OH.MY.HOLY.SHIT! This man and his demands!

I snatch my arm away, and glower so hard, my damn forehead starts to hurt. “What? Say what you want to damn well say, Thorin!”

“Calm down, damnit! And stop yelling!”

Oh, the fracking nerve! I clench my fists, and try to recall the breathing exercises I practiced during therapy, but DAMNIT! I’m just too mad! I can practically feel the fumes coming out of my ears, followed by a burning sensation in my eyes. I staved off the unwelcome tears when Jessica was here, but now it’s so much harder to fight. I swallow, and swallow, and blink, blink, blink. Nope, not helping. The first tear trips over my eyelid and slides down my cheek.