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“Like go home and take a shower,” Paige adds, turning her nose up at me. “You smell like second-hand sex and old wine.” Paige turns to Bird. “And he has work because he never listens to me and said yes to a bunch of stuff we don’t have time or capacity to deal with.”
“Why don’t you just listen to Paige?” Birdie asks. “She’s always right, you know.” I do know, but I’m stubborn, and very much set in my ways.
“So this woman, she writes books. That’s so awesome.” My sister is never going to let this go. “Can’t be too hard to find her then.”
“Most writers don’t put their real names on their books, especially romance writers.” Paige adds her two cents. “If Olivia was even her name.”
“The staff were calling her Miss Olivia, I think that’s her name.” It would be weird if they were calling her something other than her name.
“I can check in and say my name is Peter, no one is going to argue with me. You never know,” Birdie points out. “You should go back and find her.”
“No,” Paige says, replying to Birdie but pointing at me. “He should go to the office and fix the mess he’s made. I can’t have him running around after a woman all day.”
“I’m not running around. I’m going home to have a shower, and clean myself up, and then I’ll go to the office. And not because I messed anything up but because there’s work to do.”
I look at my sister, my expression serious and somewhat annoyed. “You two are going to let this go. I met a woman, we had a fun night, and that’s it.” I push my chair back, and stand. “I’m not going to fall in love, buy a ring or any of the dumb shit you have running through that wild imagination of yours.”
“I wasn’t thinking that,” Birdie lies. “But it would be so cute to see you dating, imagine a cute ray of sunshine putting up with his grumpy ass.”
“No, no thanks.” Paige says. “I would end up having to manage his relationship too. Nope, it’s a horrible fucking idea. Besides, no ray of sunshine would put up with him, they all run for the hills when his good looks are replaced by his glowing personality.” She speaks fluent sarcasm, it’s why I tolerate her. “I hate to break to you, Harlan, but only way you’re buying a ring is if she’s a braindead, golddigger. And even then we’d put a stop to it so you’re doomed to be the grumpy old man all alone. Do you want us to get you a cat? A dog? A fish?”
“Olivia has a fish.” My brain went straight there. They both just look at me, Birdie’s eyebrows raised and Paige’s furrowed. “What?” I ask. “I’m leaving now, goodbye you two. Do not stalk her!” Because I know my sister.
“Wait, how do you know she has a fish?” Birdie calls after me. I don’t even look back at her, this is not going to end well. I can see her google search now:
Redhaired romance writer from Tribeca with a fish
Mine is the same. Which I need to delete, because I’m not that guy. I don’t get stuck on one-night stands and try looking for them afterwards. Not even the one who rocked my world and tilted it wrong side up.
