Page 43

‘Great to see you, too!’ Luuk beams, trying not to hug too tightly. ‘I see some little people are growing nicely.’

I huff a laugh. ‘So am I. I can hardly move these days; feel like a seal most of the time.’

Shit, am I coming out too whiny a mere second after we met? Hasn’t he already heard enough ails in the past months—about my back hurting, clothes not fitting, even how I need to pee all the time? Every time he texts, calls or video calls, I just can’t hold my tongue.

His fault, as I tease him every time, for being so willing to listen. He assures me he loves hearing my news. Which is surprising, given how repetitive my days are, especially now that I’m on maternity leave that started due to some spotting my doctor wasn’t happy about shortly after Luuk left.

‘Say what you want, but you look absolutely radiant.’

He sounds so genuine, but I don’t want to lean too much into this pool of care and warmth.

‘You should see how radiant I look when I try to slip into my shoes these days. I’ve even bought one of those ridiculous shoe horns, the long ones with the scratching little hand on the other side, that I thought were meant for old people.’

He gives me a side hug, as we walk into the café close to my place. I did tell him to wait inside, but did he listen? Nope, he chose to wait outside in the late-January cold. ‘I guess that heading towards forty makes you old?’

I pull back to slap his arm, faking shock. ‘I am not forty yet, and I won’t be for a few years yet, kiddo.’

‘Fine, I guess I deserved that kiddo part.’

‘Does it bother you?’

He frowns. ‘What?’

‘Me calling you kiddo. It’s not meant to…’

He shakes his head in determination. ‘Coming from you, it doesn’t.’ The glint of mischief sparkles in his eyes. ‘As far as I can call you an oldie. Or maybe you prefer the Dutch version? Ouwetje?’

We’re still laughing as we take our seats after dealing with the logistics of my bump and give our coffee order. Since his last visit, Luuk has made good on his promise to be there in the ways that are possible. I ended up anticipating his texts and calls, which made the apartment I shared with Johan feel less empty.

‘So the little guys will show up any day now?’

‘Shh, don’t let them hear you, or their kicking will resume.’

Too late; a tiny foot lodges in my ribs and I wince.

‘Shit, did I wake them up?’

‘Nah, they just wait for me to sit, and start kicking, which is surprising, given how little space they have.’

‘Is it like small earthquakes in your body?’

‘It’s a bit of everything these days now that they’re bigger. Here.’

I bring his hand to rest on my belly. He jolts, and I mentally kick myself, just like one of my babies just did, for not asking whether he wanted to feel that, but he follows my lead and his hand relaxes. His brow furrows, then lights up as one of the babies moves again.

‘Hi, little one,’ Luuk whispers. ‘A bit too tight in there with the two of you? Please have a bit of patience and don’t give your mom a hard time. Do you think he or she listened?’ he asks, his palm lightly rubbing on my belly, where all activity has paused.

I shrug. ‘It seems so.’ It’s so wonderful to have you around is the thought I keep buried inside and make sure I enjoy the time he will be here. ‘Hey, are you staying long?’

‘A couple of weeks. I have a few gigs with the band, then I really need to go back.’ We both know what need to go back means.

I already miss the touch of his hand, still on my belly, where the babies seem to have relaxed. Until a jab of pain hits my lower back. The discomfort doesn’t go unnoticed.

‘Are you okay?’

I nod at his alarmed face. ‘It happens more often these days. It will go away soon. Tell me, how are things with you?’

Luuk