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By the time the dishes are being cleared away, the girls are on each side of Alice. Dana is trying to French plait one half of Alice’s hair, and Darcy is attempting tiny braids on the other.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d be getting a free hairstyle this evening,” Alice tells them.

“Girls, I hope you aren’t bothering Alice,” Romana calls from over by the sink.

“It’s fine, honestly.” Alice holds her hand up.

“They’re fascinated by straight hair,” Romana tells her. “They can’t do much with my hair and all these curls.” She flicks at the ends of the curls that have come loose from the nest on her head.

“Hey, you two should come and do my hair for the day of the wedding,” Alice says.

“You’re getting married?” Dana’s eyes light up.

“Are you marrying Uncle Owen?” Darcy asks.

“Owen mentioned you guys were going to a wedding,” Smithy clarifies, his arms laden with dirty dishes.

“Yeah, my best friend from high school is getting married,” Alice tells everyone. “But I haven’t seen her in years, so I’m not going to know anyone at the wedding, so Owen has agreed to come with me.”

Alice smiles like this is the most natural thing in the world and not the event from hell I keep picturing.

“Why aren’t you going with your boyfriend?” Darcy asks, twisting a piece of Alice’s hair around her fingers.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Alice replies.

“But you’re so pretty,” Dana says, looking wistfully at Alice.

“Yeah, well, looks will only get you so far in this world,” Alice says, and I can see the twins are lost with this, but it doesn’t deter them.

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” Darcy asks, overemphasising the word ever.

“I’ve had a few,” Alice tells them, her head being pulled from side to side as the girls twist her hair.

“What happened to them?” Dana asks.

“Well, some of them were nice people, but we didn’t have much in common, so we had nothing to talk about. Some of them were very immature, which means they were grown-ups but didn’t act very grown-up. I’m sure you’ll come across a few immature guys in your life.” Alice looks at the girls, who nod in agreement.

“Matty Jones is really immature,” Darcy says, rolling her eyes.

“How old is he?” Alice asks.

“He’s eight, the oldest in our class,” Dana says.

“But he’s such a baby. He cries at everything.” Darcy shakes her head, and I stifle a laugh.

“And Uncle Owen has never had a girlfriend,” Dana tells Alice, and I’m about to jump in with some witty retort when Darcy speaks.

“Yeah, but he had a wife.”

The room stills. The only movement is the girls, oblivious to the grenade they’ve just thrown into the room.

Alice stares at me, along with Smithy and Romana, who then glance at Alice, quickly working out that she knows nothing about my failed marriage. The adults remain frozen, as if none of us dare move while the twins carry on chattering.

“Yeah, she was pretty too,” Dana adds. “At least she was in the photos.”

“We can show you if you’d like,” Darcy says, dropping Alice’s hair and jumping off the chair. “Mum keeps the photo in a box with all the others. It used to be in a frame, but she took it down.”

“Mum said she didn’t want her picture up,” Dana says in an overly dramatic voice.