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THE HOTEL SO FAR…

BY ZEE

Once upon a time, a boring sunshine twink named Adam Vex, saved a spicy, brilliant demon (me), and together we opened a run-down hotel for Lost Ones.

Shit went south from day one.

Nobody likes vampires, but one showed up—the WORST, most USELESS vampire in the HISTORY of bad vampires ever—Baron Fancy Pants, who lives here now, or something? Then, some loser died on our best carpet. Which I had to deal with. Body disposal is not my forte, but whatever. Adam asked me to “deal with it” so I did. Just don’t ask how.

Then, it turns out, SURPRISE! The world’s most useless vampire LIED. Shocker, I know, right. Who could have seen that coming?! Not the sex demon who only thinks with his dick.

Anyway, because I can’t say no to Adam, and Adam wants to ride Victor Reynard’s cock like a bucking bronco, I had to save Reynard’s perfect-furniture-loving ass from his psycho-vampire family.

Then my personal life decides to fuck up the good thing I got going with Adam, and Sebastien (my old pimp) pulls my leash, kills a friend of mine, and demands I go back to being his prized fuck toy.

But don’t worry, because Adam Vex may not be the cute, cuddly, boring human he keeps telling everyone he is. Turns out, he’s got moves, and he will absolutely fuck you up if you happen to wrong him, or anyone he’s adopted as his (me! And Reynard, but whatever).

He says it was an accident.

One dead general later, me and all the demons at Razorsedge are free, and it’s thanks to Adam (Victor Fancy Fangs slept through most of it and needed saving, by me, AGAIN).

Boom. We’re cooking. We got a shadowbeast in the attic, gremlins in the walls, a dead body or two, and a hostile, straight-talkin’ bartender who’s more djinn than AI. But it’s all good, because throughout all of it, we’ve got each other too, right? Even Daddy Fancy Pants is growing on me. Like a genital wart.

The SOS Hotel has only been open a few weeks, and I guess a few bumps to grind out was always going to happen. But I think we got this . . . Just so long as Princess Daisy, Gideon Cain, and Sebastien don’t figure out what Adam Vex is.

Nobody is ready for that.

Maybe, not even me?

~ Zee

CHAPTER 1

The day began well. Unsurprisingly, it did not end that way.

After the breakfast service was over, I found Zee in the lounge, flirting with some giggly guests.

Yesterday, after waking from a Tom Collins induced coma on Reynard’s bed, he’d sulked for much of the day. Not only had he missed the once in a lifetime chance of seeing Reynard laugh, as alarming and disturbing as it had been, he’d also missed Sebastien’s ominous warning about his two new friends—Princess Daisy and Gideon Cain.

But today he had the guests, two gargoyles and a fae, snorting with laughter. An odd trio, but who was I to judge? I had an incubus demon on one metaphorical arm, and Vampire Daddy on the other. Although, my companions still had a long way to go before we became a throuple, especially as Victor now knew who and what I was.

And Zee didn’t.

I really needed to speak with him.

The Talk was overdue.

Zee delivered the punchline to a fantastical joke, hands and wings waving, horns bobbing—even his tail got involved with the show—and the fae laughed so hard they had to cling to their gargoyle to keep from stumbling over.

Watching Zee being Zee was one of my favorite things to do. His boundless energy, brilliant enthusiasm, and unique perspective, made every moment in his company a delight.

I did not deserve him.

Which was why I had to tell him the truth before someone else did. Just walk right over there, sit him down, and explain that the person he thought I was—boring human Adam Vex—didn’t exist. I was, in fact, something and someone a whole lot worse.

Just walk over there.

Strike while the iron was hot.