Page 27 of No Rest for the Wicked

“Do you want to come behind this bar and show me how it’s done?”

This was definitely a trick question. “Uh, no?”

“Get down!” Zee barked.

I twisted, to see a small blur the size of a soccer ball hurtle toward the back of Victor’s head, but as Victor was facing us, he hadn’t seen the projectile shooting toward him.

Zee’s tail lashed like a whip, and snatched the snarling, spitting, dagger-wielding pixie from the air, inches from Victor.

Zee held him aloft as he writhed, trying to pluck Zee’s tail from around his middle. “If you stab my tail, you’re pixie dust. You feel me?”

Little Jimmy snarled what sounded like a whole lot of abuse in pixie talk.

Zee rattled him, and the knife slipped from Jimmy’s tiny hand. It clattered to the bar floor where I scooped it up for safekeeping. “You okay?” I asked Victor.

He smoothed down his hair. “Indeed.”

“I get it,” Zee was saying to Jimmy. “We all want to stab Fancy Daddy. If I haven’t wanted to murder him at least three times by lunch, then it’s a slow fucking day. But we can’t go around murdering people we don’t like, even vampires. Unless your name is Adam. Guests leave bad reviews and Adam gets grumpy.” Little Jimmy’s big eyes darted to me then back to Zee’s face. He definitely understood. “Also, Fancy Fangs just bought me cake. So let’s ease off the murder vibes?”

“The wards were slow to activate,” Victor remarked.

“Maybe pixies are the same as gremlins. Technically, they’re vermin. Not covered by the wards.” I wondered aloud.

“Imma put you down, but if you go for any of us, including Fancy Fangs over there, I will pull your tiny wings off. I know you understand. We good?”

Little Jimmy glowered with all the hate his tiny body could muster, then nodded once. Zee’s tail gingerly set him down on the nearby table, and we watched as Jimmy settled on his feet and gave himself a very Zee-like, all-over body shake. He huffed, and crossed his arms, while Zee stood next to him, also with his arms crossed.

They sort of looked the same, but Zee was much bigger, and more handsome. But still, kinda . . . the same.

“Don’t say it,” I warned Victor. He had to be thinking the same thing.

“I would not dream of it.”

“What?” Zee frowned.

“Nothing.” I approached them both, and crouched so I was eye level with Jimmy. He probably wouldn’t try to hurt me, but he was still a wild, unpredictable, mass-murdering pixie, so it paid to be careful. “Hey, there. You remember me, right? I let you out of that tin, and then you helped us escape the freezer by killing a whole bunch of fae, which we definitely do not need to get into right now. So uhm . . . You’ve probably noticed we have lots of gremlins staying with us, and I have to be honest with you, gremlins are not great for business. Too many gremlins means we have to close the hotel, and then nobody has anywhere safe to stay.” Jimmy cocked his head. Did he understand? He didn’t talk outside of snarls and growls, so I couldn’t be sure I was getting through to him.

“I got this. We’ve bonded. We’re tight.” Zee moved to my side and eyed Jimmy. “If your pals don’t fuck off, we’re all fucked, in an unfun way.”