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“I’m so glad you guys are here . . . can’t thank you enough. Wow, SOS Hotel management. It’s really you.”

“The demon is the brawn, Adam’s the bait, and the brains of this incompetent trio is currently locked in the cellar,” Tom said. “I wouldn’t hold your breath if you’re waiting for them to save the day.”

“Thank you, Tom, for that summary. It’s good you’re doing okay, Eddie.”

“I wanted to tell you . . . The reason she froze me, I found something . . .” He reached into a pile of soggy clothes folded next to him on the end of the tub and pulled out an old photo, then handed it over. “It’s blurry and old, but you can just make out the figure.”

I looked down at a creased sepia photo that showed a man wearing indigenous clothing frozen in a solid block of ice. It didn’t look real, but knowing everything we did about Stephanie, it probably was. I handed the photo to Zee, but as I did, a scrawl on the back caught my eye.

“What’s that?”

Zee turned the delicate photo over. “It just says . . . My beloved. My traitor.”

“The corpse is her first love. She keeps him on ice in the basement,” Tom said matter-of-factly, as though we should all already know this. “From your blank faces, I’m assuming you were not already aware of that fact. Why did you think the elevator’s been out of use? Can’t have nosy guests wandering in on him.”

“Tom, how do you know all of this?”

“I am capable of thinking above middle-grade level.”

Zee rolled his eyes. “He’s still connected to the cameras. We’d all know shit if we had a thousand eyes all over this hotel.”

“Do you know where Stephanie is right now?”

“In the kitchen, fuming over a dead chef.”

Zee gasped theatrically. “The chef’s dead? Oh no. Who would do such a thing?” His gaze slid sideways, then he examined his glossy purple nails. “What is the world coming to?”

“Alright . . .” We could use Eddie’s information. “We can lure her out using her beloved.”

“Drag his frosty corpse into the foyer, then bam, hit her with a surprise orgasm, ring the bell Wesley has, and cut off her head!” Zee beamed. “Back on the road by lunchtime.”

“Victor has the sword.”

“Ugh . . . Vampires suck.”

“Surprise orgasm?” Wesley asked, after taking a few moments to digest Zee’s words.

“I have sex powers. Keep up, Wes. But the longer we stand around chitter-chattering, the more my lust juice is leaking right out of me.”

“Please don’t say it like that?” I suggested . . . again. His plan could work, but could wasn’t good enough. We needed a failsafe. A backup.

The snow outside the bathroom window had stopped its relentless assault on the town. Stephanie’s storm was fading, probably because all her energy was going into freezing the hotel. That was good. She was distracted. It was time to end this.

“I like your plan,” I told Zee. “But with a tiny tweak we can make it even better.” I left the bathroom, crossed the main sleeping area, opened the door, and found the fire alarm outside in the hallway. A quick elbow jab broke the glass. I punched the button, and the alarms screamed back to life.

“Fire! Everyone out!” I yelled down the hall. Returning to our room, I told Wesley to get all the guests outside—every single one. Victor would look after those in the cellar.

I was done being nice. It was time to get mean.

CHAPTER 15

Although the sign said the elevator was out of order, when we summoned it, the clattering cage trundled its way up from the basement.

“Yeah . . . Imma take the stairs,” Zee said, eyeing the ancient elevator with foreboding.

“You can’t. They don’t go down to the basement. This is the only way.”

Zee fell quiet, which meant he was not happy about our method of travel. We stepped inside the metal car. I heaved the grated door closed, and jabbed the down button. With a jolt we started downward, and slowly the lobby disappeared.