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“Indeed, they should have.” Victor leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. With his sleeves rolled up and his hair tossed by the wind, he’d gained a scruffy look that I adored on him. His kept his emotions off his face, but I knew him well enough to know he was concerned, distracted, and as he occasionally glanced at the bed, he was wondering if we could indulge.

There hadn’t been much time or space for sex on the road—running for your lives kinda dampened the mood—but that big ol’ luxurious bed sure did look inviting.

A loud ding-dong sounded through invisible speakers somewhere in the room, and a disembodied voice announced, “Due to the storm, and for the safety of our guests, we advise nobody leaves the hotel. The Stephanie Hotel wishes you a lovely night’s sleep.”

Snick.

“Did the door just lock?” Zee asked.

“Yes.” Victor scowled at the door, then dashed from the chair in a burst of speed to check the window. “Hm, this is also locked, but on the fifth floor a locked window is not unusual.”

“We don’t lock our guests in their rooms, do we?” Zee asked.

“No, we don’t.” I sat up, and after reluctantly prying myself out of Zee’s comfortable embrace, I tried the door. Firmly shut and locked—the little red light confirmed it—but with a bit of force I could probably break the lock if we really needed to leave.

“The storm is ferocious,” Victor added, peering outside.

Zee huffed, and flopped his head back and his boots up on the table, sprawled out like a demon in the spotlight. “Imma just say it. Are we locked in a creepy hotel with a whole lot of clueless humans, Mr. Frosty the Popsicle Making Murderer, and one real weird concierge who definitely did not call the fuckin’ cops?”

I heaved some strength into the door handle and tried to pop it open, but the more I tried to force it, the more solid the lock became, as though it were fighting back.

“The door’s warded,” I grunted. Also not a good sign.

“Fuckin’ great,” Zee huffed. “But that’s fine because it’s not our problem. There are multiple other versions of us here. They wanna be us so bad, they can solve this shit. Imma sit this episode out.”

Zee was right. This wasn’t our hotel, or our problem.

“I can see you’re considering agreeing with Zodiac,” Victor spoke up. “However, if a number of humans expire while we’re on these premises, and we do nothing to prevent it, Agent Leomaris may be inclined to revoke our Hero status, thus making us liable for past crimes—of which there are many and varied—resulting in lengthy and unpleasant incarcerations.”

Victor was also right. As responsible heroes, we couldn’t just sit on our hands either.

“Whatever you just said must have been boring as hell because I lost interest after the we do nothing part . . . which I totally agree with. Unless it’s sex. Or raiding the kitchens for more of those tiny pies. Why does everything taste so good when it’s bite-sized?”

“Wait . . .” I had an idea and turned toward Zee. “Can you translocate into the hallway?”

“Ugh.” Zee thumped his boots on the floor, and standing, gave himself an all-over shake. “Depends on the type of ward. Though all it’s gonna mean is that I can get out but you guys can’t.”

That was good enough for now. “Larimer doesn’t believe we’re the real SOS Hotel heroes. You can poof out and spy on him, maybe find out what’s really going on here?”

“With that big ol’ eyebrow, Larry definitely be evil,” Zee agreed.

Victor’s sigh had us both looking over as he rubbed his forehead. “Zodiac is a terrible spy. He’s not subtle in the least, or quiet, and frankly his tail is a menace to society and a liability.”

“Hey, Judgy McFangFace,” Zee pointed a glossy nail at Victor. “That is all fuckin’ true. But I once hid behind a clown sign and saved your ass. You don’t remember because you slept through the entire fuckin’ thing, but it was very sneaky.”

“Hiding behind a clown sign is not stealthy, it’s just hiding.”

“Uhm, hello? Have you looked at me lately? Hiding all of this is a fuckin’ tragedy.”

“Zee should try it, though,” I urged, before they got locked in an argument. “If we’re going to get involved, then what other option do we have? We at least need to know whether he can get out.”

Crossing his arms, Victor sighed hard. “Very well. But once outside, demon, we will not be able to assist you should you need us.”

“Pfft.” Zee crossed the room toward me and the door. “Lycian, Scourge of Demios, vampire-slaying extraordinaire right here. I can handle myself.” And with the next step, he poofed out of the room.

I pressed a hand to do the door and listened, catching the faintest sound of sizzling sparks. “Zee?” I whispered.

“Okay, I’m out,” he replied, sounding like he was just on the other side. “Now what?”