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He knew he’d avoided her question. Just as he’d avoided so many of Lenora’s.
Lenora should be the one to hear this story first, but he’d no other way to make Millie understand Neville’s inherently decent character. He must reveal part of his past. But when he did fully unburden his heart to his future wife, he would tell her much more.
“Does this have something to do with Neville?” she pressed.
Neville, yes. And Willard. But mostly Asquith himself.
He wandered over to the horse and stroked its neck.
“Neville and I were at school together.” He glanced over his shoulder. “He and Willard were of age and had been there longer.”
“Neville didn’t... Please say he wasn’t among those who tormented you.”
He half-smiled. “Not as indifferent to him as you’d like me to believe, are you?”
She scowled. “Go on.”
“No, it wasn’t Neville.” He gripped his shoulder and stretched his neck. “Oh, Nev did the usual things—forcing the younger ones to carry books and such.”
“I don’t find that usual.”
Asquith shrugged. “What is school without such intentional toughening? But Willard... Willard was truly cruel. When Neville got wind of what was going on, he marched me and a few other boys with him into the woods on a regular basis.”
“I thought you said Neville wasn’t your tormentor.”
“The exercise’s purpose was not to torment, but to teach us how to fight back. He ran us through the courses. He made us lift logs. And when we were strong enough, he had us practice our punches in pairs.”
“But that’s barbaric!”
“Painful, perhaps, but because of Neville, we learned how to stand our ground. I learned to stand my ground.” He just hadn’t yet learned enough to know when to stop. “Willard never forgave Neville for teaching me that lesson. I think he hates Neville more than he hates me.”
“Oh, I think Willard has enough hate inside him to go around.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“I just want you to know how good a man Neville is. Earlier tonight, I gave him permission to ask for your hand, but—”
She threw her now fluttering hands wide. He rested his on her shoulders, holding her still.
“Shh, shh,” he soothed. “Listen, would you? You will have the final word, I promise. Nothing you don’t wish to happen will come to pass.”
“But if I refuse him…”
“You will need to spend time away. At least until...” he hesitated.
Describing her fate seemed cruel. She knew she would be banished.
“Until Lenora and Nettie are settled.”
He nodded.
She gazed at him. He recognized Lenora in Millie’s eyes, too. They shared the same panic for the same reason—unwillingness to give themselves into the keeping of another man.
Hell, if he’d experienced what she had tonight and as a child, nothing could have made him consent to roll the dice again.
His heavy heart beat slow.
All the while, he thought he’d given Lenora what she wanted when he’d proposed, but Lenora’s true desire was to be truly loved, truly trusted.
And to be safe from a tyrant’s harm.
