Page 91

Nineteen years old

With one earbud in, I take a deep breath and close my eyes, preparing myself to go through my layback spin and triple toe loop one more time before practice ends. Breathing out, I snap my eyes open and straighten my back. I start with external rotation in my hip joint, preparing myself for a dip. Then, with both arms out in front of me, I push forward. I lift my left leg and spin on my right, my back arched as deeply as I can get it. By the way the move feels and the sound of my skate on the ice, I don’t need to look down to know my blade is carving a perfect circle. A smile forms on my lips. This is everything. One more rotation, and I’ll slow. Then, I’ll⁠—

“Michael, hey. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

At the sounds of Coach Gonzalez’s voice, my heart trips over itself, and my balance is ripped away from me.

I come to an abrupt stop and instantly regret it. The ice spins, and black dots appear in my vision. My toe pick scrapes the ice roughly, making it nearly impossible to keep myself upright.

Breathing heavily, I bend forward and put my palms on my knees. I close my eyes, willing the dizziness to abate.

When I finally open my eyes, Coach is alone on the players’ bench. It’s as if the words he uttered were a figment of my imagination. He quirks a brow, beckoning me to come closer.

Biting my lip, I skate over to him, my heart a violent drum inside my chest.

“Are you okay? Looked like you lost your balance for a moment.”

I brush away a few pieces of hair that escaped my ponytail during my layback spin. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I…I stopped too suddenly, and my head spun a little.” I flash him a smile. “It’s a reminder of why I prefer to skate with both earbuds in. I lose myself in the music instead of getting distracted by the sounds of the rink.”

He studies me, his dark brown eyes attentive. I’d bet a hundred bucks Elena will know about this before the day is over. Sure, Coach Gonzalez loves to praise me, but when he notices issues or thinks I need to work on a skill more, he never hesitates to contact her. Being scolded twice about the same thing is a joy I’d rather not experience often.

“Be careful next time,” he finally says. “You could’ve fallen and hit your head.”

“I will. Thank you, Coach.” I glance at my watch. “It’s a little early, but I think I’ll call it a day.”

“Sure. I was about to suggest that myself.” He reaches over the boards and pats my shoulder. “You did great today. You should be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you. Bye.” I skate away from him, internally scolding myself for getting distracted. If I start to hallucinate Michael’s presence everywhere I go, it will be my downfall.

“Leaving already?” Kellan asks, his light blue eyes emitting warmth as he studies me.

“Yeah, I want to catch up on a few hours of sleep before I start my homework.” I tilt my head to the side and hike the strap of my duffel bag higher on my shoulder. “How have you been? How is your wife?” The last time we talked, he mentioned she was unwell.

The corners of his eyes soften. “I’m okay. Hockey season starts soon, and I’m so excited to root for the Hawks. Watching these boys train, give it their all, and win is one of the highlights of my life. It feels good to think I play a small part in every game they win on home ice.” He smiles gently. “And Lily is good. I’m surprised you remembered. She had the flu last week, but she’s feeling much better now. Thank you for asking, Isla. It means a lot to me.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” I nod, peering down the empty hall outside the locker room. “And you absolutely deserve credit for the team’s wins. The quality of the ice is superb. Take it from someone who’s skated on a lot of shitty ice over the years.”

“You’re too kind.” The way his cheeks redden is adorable. This old man is one of the nicest people I know. He knows everyone by name, and he’s always happy to chat with anyone who’s willing to stop and say hi.

As I’m getting ready to walk away, it dawns on me. I could ask him about Michael. Surely, he sees everything that goes on here.

“Kellan, um, have you seen Michael Thompson today? We…have a project together, but I wasn’t sure if he was…”

I trail off, my skin burning. I hate lying. It makes me uncomfortable.

“Michael was here, yeah.” Kellan nods, breaking into a huge smile. “He’s quite a fan of yours. He’s here every morning to watch you skate before the hockey team meets for conditioning.”

He’s what? My heart takes off at a sprint, and adrenaline shoots through my system, creating a familiar burn in my extremities. Fight-or-flight mode isn’t new to me, but a few simple words have never triggered me like this.

“I don’t usually see him on weekends, but he stopped in today. Maybe because of the project you mentioned.”

“Y-yeah, thank you so much.” I swallow past the lump clogging my throat. “See you.”

“See you.”

My knees wobble as I walk out of the building. I lift my right hand, and when it trembles, I grit my teeth. Dammit. I can’t leave like this. So, rather than climbing into the driver’s seat of my car, I crawl into the back seat and lie down. Eyes closed, I breathe in and out. My heart continues to gallop, its thrum echoing in my ears. Everything’s fine. I’m safe. So why does it feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me?

Gah, I shouldn’t care. I don’t want to care.