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Today, Connor and Bailey, two sophomores from Ashland University, assigned me as their personal chauffeur. They both needed a ride to the science lab, and since I was one of the few undergrads with a special parking pass… of course I was the one held responsible.

The only reason I even had the pass was because my mom convinced the administrator I was in the midst of a mental breakdown from my dad dying. I needed immediate access to my car at all times, she’d said, because she couldn’t drive back and forth anymore like when I was in elementary school.

I don’t know how she managed it, but she did. So I figured I might as well use it for good.

Scanning the dorm’s stone buildings from the parking lot, I almost had half a mind to go find them myself. The campus was huge, four undergrad buildings, four upperclassman ones. Everyone who attended had to live on campus. Each apartment stood tall between the trees and cemented paths, built from brick and cobble with big double doors. Flower hedges lined the grass in perfect rectangular shapes. The blooms were vibrant and oversized, reminding me of how beautiful my mother’s garden used to be.

By the time Connor finally appeared, my mind had drifted somewhere between a daze and lucidity. He had to clear his throat to snap me out of it. “Earth to Alex?” he laughed, pushing my shoulder. It should’ve budged me, but I stayed like stone.

Shaking my head, I let out a laugh. “I’m here, I’m here. Now, where’s that bratty girlfriend of yours? She got us waiting today, or what?”

“Don’t call Bailey bratty,” Connor warned, though amusement still colored his voice. “And no, it’s just me and you. She’s not feeling well, so she’s skipping class.”

“I’ll stop calling her that when she stops being that.” I pushed off the car and bumped his shoulder, meant to be gentle, but he staggered harder than expected. “Oh, damn, look at you losing balance. Coach would be disappointed, letting me check you like that.”

“That was a classic example of you man-handling me. I should get an RA and tell them I’m afraid,” he teased, shuffling toward the passenger seat.

Rolling my eyes I countered. “If this was anything domestic, you wouldn’t be getting back in my car. Shut up before I decide you have to walk, Connor.” I buckled in.

“Just get me to the lab, dork,” he chuckled, fastening his seatbelt.

The keys were barely in the ignition when Bailey Moon bounced in front of my car, hair everywhere and her purse slipping off her shoulder. Her fist thudded against Tammy’s delicate driver-side window, “Wait! Don’t leave me!” She disappeared around the back of the car and swung open the backseat door behind Connor.

“I thought you were skipping,” I shot out, my neck craning sideways as I tracked her. Nothing about Bailey’s face screamed sick like Connor had claimed. Her skin was vibrant with health, cheeks brushed pink against warm golden skin. “He said you weren’t feeling good,” I added, starting the car. “And I’ve got a game this Saturday. I don’t need you germing Tammy up.” I half warned.

When the door clicked shut, she scooted across the leather, settling in like she owned the place. The movement stirred a heavy perfume through the car. It was strange, lilac threaded with iron. Mixed with Connor’s cologne in the heat, it was almost overwhelming. Rolling the windows down, I waited for her answer.

“I’m cramping, you ass.” Her hand swatted over the seat, knocking my head forward.

A laugh rumbled out of my chest as I pulled out of the parking lot.

“And stop telling Alex everything about me, Connor!”

Connor’s brown eyes flicked to me like he’d been caught. “I didn’t. I just said you weren’t feeling good. We’re all friends here, Bell.” He twisted in his seat to face her. “You’re not mad, right? Because it’s not what you’re thinking—” I couldn’t see her face but knowing her, her nose was scrunched, and her bottom lip was jutted out in a pout. Whoever had raised that girl, dramatic as she was, had to be ecstatic to get rid of her for nine months out of the year. I couldn’t imagine putting up her with in high school, let alone college. But I couldn’t just let her boyfriend ride with me and not her. Connor was a brave man putting up with it now.

As Connor explained and Bailey’s continued to fume. I continued to drive, trying not to listen too hard, because whatever this is feels private. Bailey was the first to hop out of the car after their heated exchange. She didn’t even say bye to me before slamming Tammy’s door so hard it vibrated the shell. My eyes rolled as I shook my own annoyance off my face.

“Sorry about that bro, I don’t even know what she was on about.” Connor smiled, grabbing his backpack between his feet.

“You don’t have to apologize I get it.” I laughed as the tension eased from my shoulders. “Well, I don’t but like I said Bailey is a brat, so it kind of tracks.” Connor couldn’t help the smile that cracked against his lips and pushed my shoulder one last time before he opened his own door.

“Bailey is not a brat!” He shot before stepping out. “I’ll see you later labs end at six tonight if you can get me?”

“Yeah I got you. Text me.”

He nodded, closing the door. I watched him walk up the cobblestone path for a moment before backing out and heading straight for the on-campus library. I had three assignments to finish and another exam to study for.

The library wasn’t far from the science buildings, so if they needed me, I wouldn’t be far. Once I parked, my feet carried me inside without much thought. It was one of the smaller libraries on campus, and I’d hoped it would give me the upper hand. I’d already tried that calculus sheet more times than I cared to admit, and it still made no sense.

I found my usual spot near the center, the one with the best view of the trees. A large window stretched across the wall, letting sunlight spill in. I liked watching the wildlife that perched along the iron frame. It made the place feel less suffocating.

My pencil tapped along the table as I stared down the math problem like it was written in ancient Greek. I was good at a lot of things. Numbers just weren’t one of them. Leaning forward, I let my foot rest on the bar beneath the chair. After a few more aimless minutes of pretending this equation would magically solve itself, I gave up.

Guess I’d have to beg my professor later for help.

Of course, I was wrong thinking the library would help me focus. The silence was supposed to calm my nerves, but it only made them louder. The high walls and hospital-white ceilings didn’t help. Endless rows of books. Too much quiet.

It was all just… anxiety.