Page 47

Each time I brought myself to think about her, a sharp pain twisted in my chest. It was irrational to place her disappearance on me, but I didn’t know what really happened. With that lack of knowledge, it was easy to just assume I wasn’t enough. It was easy to slip into that mindset when the latter was something far worse had happened. Placing either emotion didn’t feel solid because I had no answers, no body, just that she never came back.

Sometimes, I envied Alexander. His father, lost to death, still found his way back to him—no matter the shape. It was truly inspiring to the orphaned, even a false hope that a loved one could come back. Death, even for us immortals, was permanent, unyielding. We didn’t even know if we were blessed enough to go to one of the heavens since our origins weren’t of the blessed but of the created.

Even if it was a lie at first, at least his story had form. Mark wanted Alex so much that he thought of the impossible and made it possible for him. Yes, Alexander’s feelings were jumbled, but there had been real love in the gesture. I could appreciate the sincerity of a paradoxical idea. If it were me, I think I could forgive him. There was just something so honest about it.

Mine was fog.

I never knew whether to grieve or have hope. That itself was the issue. If my mother were dead, that would be final, probably even easy to swallow after the dread of it. My father would have buried her at our estate, so I’d have a place to mourn, to talk to her even in my head. I could do it, but it wasn’t the same when I knew she wasn’t beneath my feet. Then the idea that she could have been alive was just as tormented as death because it meant she stayed away for seven years. I didn’t want to believe that, but I did want her to be alive.

And in a world like mine, hope is just our version of a fairytale.

The wind bit at my face as we pulled farther from town. To reach the mountain, we’d have to cross two riverbanks, then ascend its steep, merciless side. In the human realm, I didn’t need to breathe. But here in Velarune, I did. Nature had connected with vampires over the centuries, threading into our cores. It bent us, reshaped us, coaxing submission out of evolution.

Arianna ran like it was a race through the tundra. I could barely keep up. Her species truly fascinated me because I knew they were stronger than vampires. She was superior in every way, from sheer magic to agility. My father had been a legend in our era with his ability to run, but she was faster than even him.

But even with me trailing her, the snow beneath our feet never had time to catch our prints. We weren’t running, we were gliding.

The forest around us thickened as we sprinted through it. Unlike the withered outskirts of town, these trees stood untouched, vital and alive, tended by unseen hands. Branches caught the snow, while the leaves released it gently in bursts. It fell like a quiet symphony, layering the forest floor in soft white percussion.

Within ten minutes, we were already at the first riverbank with a hundred and forty-three miles behind us, like it was nothing. It was easy to cross without having to press our speed further. It was like breathing; all three of us leapt over the water in a blink. We landed on pillow-soft snow, untouched and still pristine.

We shook the ice from our dresses and fur and continued upslope at a rapid pace. The next river we had to cross was below a seventy-eight-foot drop. We’d need to launch ourselves across nearly a hundred and forty-seven feet—and survive the drop, missing the icy pool. I remembered too well the last time I missed. Pain surfaced through my ribs as the memory of a chunk of ice slamming into my core as I clung to its surface. My body had been half-submerged in its depths as I pulled myself along the thick grain of frozen water.

The only ease was that it wasn’t too far off from the river we had just passed. Only another five minutes scaling up the wintry landscape. The air up here had started to make my lungs tighten, but I fought the burn in my lungs.

The sky, already veiled in fog, began to cry, unleashing winds colder than death itself. It poured down blankets of slush. Our once clear view started to drift into gray fog, making it harder to follow the path from memory, as every tree began to blur together in deceit.

Arianna called out in front of me, “Stay close to me—it should pass soon.” Her pace was steady, weaving through the trees.

The instruction was simple, but the wind and sleet had made the execution harder than it should have been. It battered my vision and dulled my sense of scent, making everything muddied as I tried to follow her lead. Her figure dipped in and out of the blanket of white, blinding me from every angle.

Hidden by the snow, she shouted, “The jump is coming soon!” I could barely make out the words as the splitting winds whistled against my ear, almost drowning her out.

My heart pounded hard and heavy inside my chest as my feet pounded hard against the frozen ice beneath me. To even make it across, I needed more speed, so much more. Without my sight, I was blind to the ledge. Just as I was about to leap too early, Arianna grabbed my wrist, anchoring us together. Bomani didn’t leave our side, keeping pace with his master.

“Now,” she said, and our knees coiled forward, trusting our agility.

Our bodies launched in the air for what felt too long to me. A chill ran through my body at the memory of how the sickly current tossed my body around when I lost my grip on that iceberg. It knocked me into every rock beneath the water. The cruelest winds met my body when I could finally escape; the wind’s grasp was another punishment.

The sound of the rushing water taunted me midair.

But in reality, it lasted only seconds before our feet touched down on solid ground. I glanced back, just for a moment, at the raging water, allowing myself a small victory. If Alex knew about the danger I had just been in, his poor human heart would have exploded.

We made our final stretch toward the Lyoraxes’ mountain home. They were delightful company if they wanted you around. They were vibrant, fuzzy carroty in color with faces and limbs tufted in bundles of fur. When they all dispersed, it looked like a human’s autumn bush, sprouting through the flurry. They were small in stature, barely reaching above the knee.

And, if I’m being honest, they were quite easily impressed. If you couldn’t offer them the Drewards they desired as cuisine, they would take magic. All forms of it, too, not just the tangible kind that they could keep. The Lyoraxes had their own form of mysticism they could conjure, but there was always someone more powerful to entertain them.

We ran up the ridged mountainside, far above the thick gray clouds. From here, the forest stretched endlessly, a cold, breathtaking beauty. Above the pillowy gray, the sunlight spilled over the mountain top, no blue hue, just lush golden yellows dipping past the skyline. Even at its lowest, it was glorious just like my mother’s warm smile. It hugged me, its heat was just like her arms, and it made my body feel light. The white blizzard below couldn’t reach this height but the lack of oxygen weighed down my limbs and sent my heart pounding twice as fast. Or maybe it was just her memory taking my breath away.

We were close, so I didn’t have to use much more of my energy. I inhaled deeply through my nose, trying to steady the burn in my lungs. As we neared the clearing of their home, tufts of orange fur dusted the bushes and trees, a breadcrumb trail left behind. “Arianna,” I called out making her stop in her tracks.

“Do you think it would be better if Bomani stayed back here? He is lovely, but I think he would scare them. Unless he wants to shift?” My gaze drifted towards her and then to him. His body was half the size of my own in this form, so he was easily twenty times as large as the Lyoraxe.

His head tilted to the side looking up to Arianna.

Her mouth pursed for a moment, in thought, then her gaze shifted to him, “Go ahead and change. I don’t want the little trolls fleeing.” She huffed a laugh.

“That’s what makes you laugh? The thought of them running away?” I questioned with an eyebrow raised.