Page 32

Flexing my feet, I luxuriate in the novelty of having new shoes for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s the nicest thing anyone’s given me in years.

I just wish they hadn’t come from him. Part of me wishes I didn’t need to wear them so that I could light them on fire.

Is this how things will be the rest of my life? This constant tug of war between my instincts and the fire inside of me that refuses to settle for an Alpha who can’t even look me in the eyes when he hands me a gift?

Kane, Soren’s best friend, starts to hum a familiar tune I can’t quite place from his seat opposite me on Soren’s left. I glance at him from the corner of my eye, and when his attention falls on me, he shoots me a wink that has a blush pooling in my cheeks.

It’s almost comical how relaxed he is compared to Soren, who’s strung so tight between the two of us I can feel him vibrating. His scent is still a little burnt, and it’s driving my Omega wild as she paces behind the wall of her shelter.

I’m really failing at this whole Fated Mate thing. My Omega just wants to curl into his lap and burrow into his neck, but the two withering, half-formed Bonds in my chest keep me still. I can’t trust my instincts. Can’t trust Fate. And I can’t even explain to him why he got a broken Mate after probably spending his whole life dreaming of this moment.

And here I am. Ruining it.

Maybe… maybe if I knew what he was thinking. I know he was mad, and I know he wants me to leave with him and doesn’t understand why I won’t, but … is that because he doesn’t believe me about my Bond with Caelan? Does he think I’m lying like Dax and Vae do?

If I did leave with him, would I just—once again—be exchanging this prison for another?

I want to ask—whisper the question into the silence between us—but I’m too afraid of the answer.

I dart my eyes to the side, intending to steal a glance at my Mate without him noticing, but that fails when his eyes lock with mine and refuse to let me look away.

Smile at him, Idril. Give him something. Anything.

Like he already knows I’m too afraid to make a move of my own, Soren raises his hand, extending it cautiously toward my face. His movements are sure but slow, giving me plenty of time to pull away if I want to.

I don’t.

He doesn’t touch my face like I thought he would. Instead, he reaches for my hair, taking a thick silver lock and rubbing it gently between two tattooed fingers. For such a large male, his touch is incredibly gentle. And when he begins to twirl my hair, delicately wrapping it around his fingers, the light tug on my scalp sends chills down my spine.

“Are you alright?”

His voice sounds like honey over gravel, rough and thick and full of warmth. The concern in his tone sounds so real I almost believe it.

“No,” I whisper. I hate the way his expression hardens, but I won’t lie.

“You look exhausted,” he replies, still coiling my hair around his fingers. The touch is somehow personal, and not. He hasn’t touched me anywhere else, and I’m thankful for his restraint.

“It’s been a long… life,” I whisper honestly. He frowns, but doesn’t get a chance to respond.

“We’re five minutes out,” Gavran says, glancing at us over his shoulder from his seat behind the wheel. Next to him, Daxen’s fingers fly across the keyboard of a laptop propped open on his lap, fully focused on what he’s working on.

“Any word on the lass?” Kane asks, leaning forward.

“Nothing more than we already know—we have good reason to believe Varenthrall was holding her. Not sure why he left her alone without any security, but the guy tends to jump from place to place. He’s a paranoid fuck.”

“I would be too, working with the Severed,” Dax mutters.

“Why the hell would a human get in bed with a Severed?”

Gavran's eyes find Soren’s in the reflection of the rearview mirror. “That’s what we’re trying to find out. Whatever it is, it’s got everything to do with the uptick in missing Omegas.”

My lungs tighten painfully at the reminder, and I return my attention to the passing scenery outside of my window. I hate knowing that my father is behind something so horrifying and vile, and it’s so, so hard not to blame myself for all of it. Especially now that I know he’s using my blood in his “experiments.”

The vehicle starts to bounce as smooth asphalt morphs into gravel. We rock back and forth as our tires bounce over potholes, and dust and dirt spray out from under the wheels, turning into billowing clouds of dust that make it harder to see in front of us.

I squint through the windshield, but the only thing I can see is a large truck building with two SUV’s identical to the one we’re in parked outside of it. Gav pulls up beside them and throws the vehicle into park.

“Stay behind us at all times,” he orders, unbuckling before turning around to face the three of us. “The warehouse is clear, but there were Severed on sight recently. We have four Bastards and a member of our medical staff waiting inside, preparing to transport the Omega.”