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Holden stiffened above me, his eyes sliding shut for a moment as he drew in a deep breath. “Yeah, you were, but I’ve had this little problem most of the night myself, so you won’t be getting any judgment from me.”

“It’s really not little.”

Oh, God. Out of everything I could say, why that?

He let out a low chuckle. “Well, I’m glad you approve, but still. I haven’t been able to focus for shit.”

“Same,” I whispered, finally looping my arms around his neck and pulling him to me. “Does this mean we’re actually going to do something about it?”

“I’m not really into denial, Alicia. I still don’t want to move too fast, but whether or not we’re doing something about it is entirely up to you.”

“Are you sure?”

“So sure.”

“Oh,” I murmured, stroking my fingers through his hair and desperately fighting the urge to start rocking underneath him. The hard heat of him was right there, nestled tight against me, and I needed friction so badly, but before we got there, he deserved to know. “I want you, Holden. Obviously. I don’t think it’d be moving too fast, not considering…”

I trailed off, drawing in a deep breath before I just blurted it out. “It’s been a very, pathetically long time since I’ve, uh, done anything with anyone. I understand if that’s a problem for you. Especially since we’re going to have to make a baby at some point, but yeah. It’s been a while.”

I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting when I told him that, but he gently cradled my face in his hands and pressed a soft, almost loving kiss to my lips. “It’s not a problem. Nothing you could say would be a problem for me, Alicia. I just want you, okay? We’ll go at a pace you’re comfortable with. If that means not doing anything other than kissing tonight, that’s fine too.”

“No,” I said so fast that it made my cheeks burn again, but I pushed through the embarrassment. If Holden could be honest, then so could I. Even if he was clearly a lot more used to talking about this kind of thing than I was. “I just, uh, are you still sleeping with other⁠—”

“No,” he said immediately. “I haven’t slept with anyone else since Alex first brought up the whole marriage thing. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Oh.”

Wow. I’m just the very definition of eloquence tonight, aren’t I?

He smiled and lowered his lips back to my neck, dropping hot, slow kisses on my skin. “I might be a lot of things, but a cheater will never be one of them. I’m yours now, Alicia. Whether we saw it coming or not.”

“Mine?” My heart gave a soaring leap before it squeezed. “I guess that makes me yours too, huh?”

I felt him smile against my skin. “Yeah, I guess it does. I take care of what’s mine, baby, and I will take care of you either way, but I’m going to need to hear you tell me what you want.”

As he kept dragging his lips across my throat, my eyelids fluttered shut and I arched my neck, barely able to think straight, but I wrapped my legs around his hips and turned my head to catch his lips for another kiss.

“I want everything,” I murmured. “All of it. Just be gentle, okay?”

“I can do that,” he promised, kissing me so deeply that I lost track of where I ended and he began, but he didn’t make a single move to take things further until I was practically burning up underneath him.

When I finally started clawing at his t-shirt like a crazy person, he let out another low chuckle before pulling it over his head in one smooth motion, exposing washboard abs so sexy I wanted nothing more than to lick them, but then he was pulling my pajama shirt off too and the way his cheeks flushed when he dropped his gaze to my chest made my thoughts scatter to the wind.

“It’s a damn good thing I didn’t know earlier that you’re not wearing a bra,” he murmured, but his voice had a rougher edge to it now, his gaze trailing from my hard nipples to the waistband of my pajama pants. “God, I would’ve had my face buried here all night if I’d known.”

He moved his big hands to my breasts and cupped them, bringing his head down to lick a path around each of my nipples in turn. I shivered underneath him, feeling wet heat pool in my panties as he applied gentle pressure to one nipple and sucked the other into his mouth.

Instinct took over at the sensation of his wet, hot mouth on me, and I suddenly lost the fight against the urge to rock my hips. I started grinding against him with deliberate purpose, a loud moan escaping when pleasure burst through me as soon as I started moving.

“Holden. Oh!”

He groaned around my skin, pressing down firmly with his hips cradled between mine. “This is going to kill me.”

At the increased pressure against that aching, sensitive part of my anatomy, I felt my nails dig into his skin, my lungs forgetting how to function, and my muscles starting to lock up. Holden muttered curses under his breath when he seemed to realize how close I already was, bringing his mouth back to mine to kiss me as he suddenly started moving too.

My grinding had been desperate and erratic, but his hips rolled in slow, rhythmic thrusts that made me see stars, turning my moans into incomprehensible pleas almost immediately. Wisps of pleasure licked at my insides right from the get-go and Holden grabbed my hands, holding them tight as he kept moving, never once breaking stride.

“Shit, Alicia,” he groaned into my mouth. “I won’t last.”