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I’d also seen the darkness writhing in those eyes last night, the hurt, the anger, and the fear of becoming Court. That was what made this article so dangerous to the man I was falling for. It took the worst pieces of him and framed it like they were the whole, and if he saw enough of this kind of thing, he’d start believing it again too.

I suddenly felt like someone had sent four ice cubes in a row slithering down my spine. Just as I was about to grab the newspaper and crumple it up, the lounge door opened and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Mrs. Donnelly strode in, the senior children’s librarian who’d worked here for longer than I’d been alive. She had the uncanny ability to read people’s minds at this point and she didn’t even glance at the newspaper before her lips pressed into a thin line. “You shouldn’t read that filth.”

“I…” I trailed off, swallowing past the sudden lump in my throat. “I didn’t know. I’ve never been famous before. Or maybe I’m infamous now. I’m not really sure.”

“Sarah told me she saw you come in here.” Mrs. Donnelly strode to the couch in the corner, sitting down and patting the empty space beside her. “I’m glad I found you. Come sit with me.”

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out as I went to join her, practically collapsing into the space instead of lowering myself into it as gracefully as she had. “I’m so sorry. Am I getting fired?”

“No.” She frowned, peering at me over the frames of her tortoise shell glasses. “Why would you be getting fired? I’m also not sure what you’re apologizing for.”

“Neither am I,” I admitted, but the tears were welling in my eyes now and the whispers were suddenly making complete sense. “I’d understand if you don’t want me here anymore, though.”

She waved one hand dismissively while reaching for mine with the other and giving it a warm, gentle squeeze. “These things always blow over, Alicia. I’ve never been in your shoes, but when you’ve been around the block as many times as I have, you know that everything blows over eventually.”

“What if it doesn’t?”

“It will,” she said, her voice soft but firm. “People get bored, my dear. News cycles move on. No matter what, eventually, the headlines will forget your name and find someone else to drag through the mud.”

I let out a soft, choked laugh. “Are you sure?”

“Completely,” she said without hesitation. “In the meantime, I want you to go home and stay there for a few days. Experience has taught me that the best thing you can do in this sort of situation is to lie low. It’s difficult to take shots at someone you can’t find.”

“What? No. I only just got back from a few days off. There’s the Halloween order, and story time, and⁠—”

“We’ll cover it.” She gave my hand another squeeze, an understanding smile on her face. “This isn’t a punishment, Alicia. I’m merely giving you permission to leave so you don’t have to be here while people are trying to decide who you are based on nothing but sensationalism and buzzwords.”

She fell silent for a beat, then withdrew her hand and stood before glancing back down at me. “A long time ago, Nora Thayer did as much for this library as Jane Westwood is doing now. Both women are very dear to my heart because of how they’ve supported us and they’re your family now. Go be with them. They need you as much as you need them.”

With that, she gave me a brief nod, then headed over to the table and crumpled up the newspaper without another word, dropping it in the trash on her way out. I rose slowly once she was gone, keeping my head down as I left the lounge and went to collect my purse from the children’s department.

I could feel eyes following me with every step I took, understanding for the first real time in my life what it felt like to be watched. And the scariest thing about it was that I honestly didn’t know if I could handle this.

Despite everything else, I was mature enough to know that there was a heck of a lot more to Holden than that article had made him out as, but I genuinely didn’t know if I could take this kind of scrutiny. The infamy. Strangers hating me simply because of whose hand I’d been holding in a photograph.

I let out a shaky breath as I hurried toward the train station, tucking my chin into my collar, grateful to the icy wind for an excuse to pull up the hood of my coat. As soon I was shielded from view, I felt better, but then my phone started buzzing just before I reached the station and I nearly had a coronary. Pulling it out of my pocket, I slowed my mad dash for the doors when I saw Deja’s name on my screen.

As Colin’s wife, she was my sister-in-law and probably one of the only people on the planet right now who understood how this felt, but she’d also never called me before.

“Hi Deja,” I said after picking up. “Is everything okay?”

“Hey,” she replied solemnly. “No, not really. Where are you?”

“I’m just about to walk into the train station.”

“The train?” She groaned. “Alicia, no. That’s not safe. Not today. Which station? I’ll send a car. Can you come over?”

“Come over?” I asked after giving her the name of my station. “Why? Has something happened?”

She sighed. “Nothing new, but I think it’s time we had a family meeting. Things are really hitting the fan now and I know this isn’t how we should be getting to know each other. I wish I had a better reason to invite you over. You know, something normal, like dinner or drinks, but unfortunately, we don’t have time for that right now.”

I breathed out a long, slow breath and turned toward the street. “Don’t bother with a car. I’ll just grab a cab. What’s your address?”

Before she’d even finished rattling it off, I stuck my hand in the air and a taxi squealed to a stop in front of me. I practically launched myself into the back seat, told him where I was going, and then eased back into my seat.

“I’m on my way,” I said quietly, keeping my voice down in the hopes that my driver wouldn’t cotton on to who he had in his car right now. “I’ll be right there, okay?”