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“Yes, I did. I was upset, but so were you,” I said quietly. “Both of us had reason to be and both of us could’ve handled it better.”
He tightened another screw before sitting back on the porch and finally picking up his coffee. Staring out at the street as he wrapped his strong fingers around the mug, he lifted it to his lips, seeming thoughtful as he took a sip and slowly swallowed it before bringing his gaze back to mine.
“You didn’t walk in here looking for a fight, Alicia,” he said, his voice surprisingly gentle. “I didn’t want one either, but I was stressed and pent-up, and I felt fucking terrible about you not being able to go back to work because of me.”
“It’s not because of you.” I drew in a deep breath through my nostrils and let my gaze drift toward the street. “You know, I’ve never seen my picture in the paper before. I’ve also never had to read mean things about someone I genuinely care about. I didn’t know what to do with that or how to handle it, and then, just after I’d seen the article about us, I was asked to leave until things died down.”
He hung his head, his shoulders rising as tension wound through him. “I’m so sorry, Alicia.”
“Don’t be,” I said. “That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s not your fault that the media hounds your family or that they write the things they do. It’s not your fault that your father gave them a reason to, but I think it’s safe to assume that even if he hadn’t, they would have hounded you anyway. Look at the Westwoods. None of them have ever been in prison, but whenever there’s a slow news day, they’re on the front page for one thing or another.”
He scoffed down a laugh. “True.”
“Exactly.” I smiled, tears pricking at the backs of my eyes when he glanced back up at me. “Yesterday, when I first saw that article, I was mad at you, and at myself, and hell, even at Alex, but what I was most upset about was that I couldn’t just call my dad to come and get me.”
“Yeah, I hear that.”
“The thing is, when they died, I was still in that phase where my dad was my hero, you know? If something was broken, Daddy could fix it. If I was sad, Daddy would make me happy again. I realize you might never have felt that way about your father, but when I got home and found out he’d called you, that was where my head was at.”
“On how unfair it was that your awesome dad died and my shitty one didn’t?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, that too, but mostly on how lucky you are that you still have the chance to talk to him. I’m sorry if I overstepped, Holden. I didn’t mean to imply that you had to speak to him or even that he deserved a conversation with you, but I meant it when I said I’d give anything to receive a call from mine.”
When he finally looked at me again, he reached out and wrapped his fingers around mine, giving them a squeeze. “You didn’t overstep. I knew what you were saying. I knew where it was coming from. If it helps, I’d give pretty much anything to get a call from your dad too.”
Tears welled on my eyelids as I smiled, wrapping my hand more securely around his. Slowly but surely, it felt like we were breaking down the wall that’d gone up between us last night and it felt really good.
“I’m proud of us,” I said quietly. “We’ve just successfully talked through our first fight.”
He blinked a couple times, like the notion surprised him, but then he grinned and stood up. “Yeah, I think we did. Look at us, being all mature and shit.” Chuckling as he bent over, he dropped a tender kiss on top of my head and then straightened up again. “Speaking of things that are mature, I smell like an extra matured steak. I need a shower.”
“Definitely.” I wrinkled my nose, making a show of waving my hand in front of my face, but if I was being honest, he was pretty hot, all sweaty, dusty, and smeared with dirt. “I’ll be right behind you.”
“In the shower?” He pretended to gape at me, widening his eyes and bringing a hand up to his mouth like he’d been scandalized. “Well, I never.”
I laughed. “I meant in the house, dear husband, but now that you’ve mentioned it, maybe I will join you in the shower. Even if only to prove a point.”
He turned from the open doorway to wink at me. “Whatever point it is, you’re very welcome to come prove it. I’ll be naked. And waiting.”
With that, he turned and disappeared inside, and I chuckled, but as I finished the last dregs of my coffee, I wasn’t blind to the fact that Holden was really going through it right now. He had exams coming up and assignments to finish, he had a new wife to consider and a house in desperate need of maintenance and attention, and in the midst of all that, the person who’d done a tremendous amount of damage to him and his family would be walking back into his life soon.
And the press wouldn’t let him forget it.
There wasn’t much I could do about any of that, but I could be there to support him, to let him know that I would stand by him, and to try to ease the guilt he felt about me being in this now too. With that thought in mind, I headed upstairs and stripped off as I walked into the bathroom.
The shower was already steamed up, water drumming in a steady beat against the sides. I’d never done anything remotely like this before, but I pulled last night’s elastic out of my hair and let it tumble to my shoulders. Then I reached for the shower door and climbed in with him.
CHAPTER 39
HOLDEN
Istood under the hot spray and dragged my hands over my face, trying to find some solace in the fact that at least I’d made things right with Alicia. Well, sort of, anyway.
She’d essentially been put on a leave of absence from a job she loved because of me, and instead of pulling her into my arms and letting her cry on my shoulder, I’d snapped at her. I’d driven her up to her bedroom alone instead of comforting her. Oh, and then I’d probably woken her up from a long night alone to the glorious whine of power tools.
Husband of the year right here, folks. If you were looking for him, it is me.
As a groan started working its way out of my chest, the shower door suddenly swung open and Alicia appeared through the steam like a siren. Stark naked, her golden hair hung in messy waves to the tops of her nipples, those hazel eyes immediately finding mine.
