On the Run with His Vampire Mate
Page 30
I was oddly relieved by their departure. Which brought me squarely to the other reason I didn’t want to go anywhere. Guilt. Already, it felt like they were doing too much. I was involving way too many people in my bullshit.
Quinn, who’d been quiet since everyone arrived, put his hand on my shoulder. “Hey, can we talk for a second? Privately?”
Sadie arched a brow at him. “While you’re at it, will you please talk some sense into your boyfriend? I don’t especially want to explain to the king why our favorite human is no longer day drinking in his bar.”
“I haven’t been day drunk in months,” I bristled. Then, when I met Quinn’s gaze and saw how serious he looked, I slipped my hand into Quinn’s and said, “Yeah. Let’s head into the back.”
Quinn led us through a double door and into the kitchen. There were stainless steel counters everywhere and pots and pans neatly stacked in wire rack shelving. The appliances all looked brand-new and gleaming—they were also made of stainless steel.
“Listen, I know that we’re supposed to be fated to be together,” Quinn said, breaking the silence that had fallen between us. “But I’d understand if you and Brent—”
“Wait,” I said, putting a hand up. “Me and Brent?”
He avoided my gaze. “I see how you look at him. And it makes sense. He’s human.”
“Oh.”
And then I realized, to my dismay, that while, from my perspective, I’d been trying to stop some overprotective vampires from ripping into Brent—possibly literally—from Quinn’s, it probably looked really different.
Very bad, in fact.
Especially on the heels of our first time together.
“Hey, no,” I said. “It isn’t like that. At all. I swear.”
Quinn bit his lower lip. “Are you sure? I mean, do you still have feelings for him?”
“Yeah,” I said, answering as honestly as I could. When his wounded gaze snapped to mine and his eyes widened with disbelief, I added, “Of course I do, Quinn! I cared about him, a very long time ago. And he saved my life. Plus, he came after me tonight to try to save my life again, which put his own at risk.” I paused. “Obviously, I feel things about that—who wouldn’t? And I’m trying to protect him because I’m worried about his safety. I care what happens to him. But you’re the only person I want to be with. Ever.”
At the end of my speech, Quinn looked absolutely stricken. “If I was out of the picture—”
“No. No way. You can’t even talk like that. Please, don’t.”
Quinn swallowed, looking miserable, his gaze dropping to the floor. His voice was about two inches tall when he said, “He might be able to give you things I can’t.”
I tilted Quinn’s chin up so that his gaze met mine. “There’s nothing I want from anyone besides you. You aren’t just my destiny, Quinn. That would probably be enough, but it isn’t the whole story. Not by a long shot.” I blinked back sudden wetness. Looking into his eyes, the world—as crazy as it had gotten—made sense again. He was my gravity. My everything. “I’m also in love with you.”
Quinn swallowed hard. And maybe he divined the truth from me somehow, or maybe he just believed me, but something went softer in his expression. “I love you, too. And I fall deeper every day. But—”
“No buts,” I told him. “You and me, we’re endgame. And we’re everything in between, too. I wouldn’t care if you were a vampire, a warlock, a human, or an alien. I’m not going anywhere, ever. I’ll be around for as long as you’ll have me.”
“I’ll always want you,” he admitted. “But I can’t—Derek, we can’t be like Bryan and Tobias. Or like Thierry and Jeremy. Or any of the other fated couples out there. We can’t have that. It feels so selfish, but it’s true.”
He was talking about a blood bond. I knew I’d freaked him out earlier, when I’d suggested it. Which was really dumb of me. I’d gotten caught up in the moment of closeness and let my own desires for more of it supersede his needs. Something I’d promised myself I’d never do.
“I screwed up when I suggested it earlier,” I told him, hoping he’d hear the truth of my words again. “That’s completely on me. I’m sorry, Quinn.”
“You didn’t, though. It’s a normal thing for you to at least be curious about, right? I mean, who wouldn’t be wondering what it might be like to be so close to someone you care about?” He swallowed hard again, his eyes searching mine. “I want to. But I just—I can’t.”
“I know we can’t, right now. I’m willing to wait however long you need.”
“Never,” he said, his eyes going glassy and his expression becoming miserable again. “It’s probably going to be never.”
I couldn’t stop the stab of pain that caused me. Not that we’d never be blood bonded—it sounded cool, but also sort of intense and super permanent—but it was more that he didn’t trust me. Because I’d put it together, exactly why he didn’t want me in his head. By telling him my deepest truth, I’d already let him in. It stung that he couldn’t do the same for me. I’d have been lying if I said it didn’t.
But there were some things that mattered so much more than that.
I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.