Page 94

They had become so familiar with each other over the last week that they moved around each other with an arresting level of ease as they took turns in the bathroom and dressed in the same casual clothes they’d worn for their beach walk the day before, and less than fifteen minutes after they had climbed out of bed, they were out the door..

The cool morning air did nothing to chase away the leaden feeling in Lydia’s stomach, but there was something about the refreshing crispness that she found comforting, nonetheless. The sky over the ocean clung valiantly to the last tendrils of night, despite the rising day that lit the rugged peaks of the mountains behind them in a clean, golden halo of light, as if the universe were fighting to extend their time together.

Lydia swallowed around the lump in her throat as Zann draped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her into her side as their bare feet sank into the soft sand, and she looked up at Zann as she looped an arm around her waist to hold her close.

Her heart squeezed when Zann looked at her with a small, obviously miserable smile that didn’t come close to reaching her eyes, and she rubbed her side as she asked, “You okay?”

Zann’s throat bobbed. “Not really,” she croaked. “I just… I know I’m being dramatic, but I really hate this. Like, I get that we have our responsibilities to get back to and that we can’t pull an Aspen and Eve and just, throw two middle fingers up and fucking Hallmark a life together immediately, but…”

“Yeah,” Lydia murmured. Because, really, what else could she say? Besides, maybe, “Me too.” She sniffed and looked out over the Pacific. “I mean,” she began slowly, her voice hushed and thoughtful, “I know we talked about how we would do this. The flights and the phone calls and FaceTime and all that. And I know that’s the responsible thing to do. That it’s the only thing we can do. But…” She shook her head. “I’d given up on ever finding anything like this, and now I have to let you go,” she whispered, her voice choked as the tears that’d been threatening all morning finally slipped down her cheeks.

“Oh, Lyds,” Zann exhaled as she pulled her to a stop.

Lydia fell into Zann’s arms and buried her face in the soft fabric of Zann’s hoodie, breathing deep the comforting scent of the woman who, in only a week, had become her home. Her tears came harder and faster as she felt Zann’s shoulders shake with her own quiet sobs, and she clung to her as the storm of emotion that’d been building since she woke up in the early-hours of the morning raged inside her.

Nothing about this was even remotely fair.

“I’m sorry,” Zann rasped.

Lydia shook her head and burrowed even deeper into Zann’s embrace. “I am.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Zann insisted, squeezing her tightly, as if that strength would be enough to protect her from what was coming.

Lydia rubbed her cheek on Zann’s shoulder, dampening it with her tears, and kissed her throat. “Neither did you.”

Zann swallowed and exhaled loudly. “Fate is a cruel bitch sometimes, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Lydia lifted her head to look at Zann, and her heart cracked wide open at the anguish that was etched so plainly across Zann’s beautiful face and the tears that wet her cheeks. She lifted a hand to wipe away Zann’s tears, and smiled weakly as she tenderly cupped her face. Even trapped in sorrow, Zann was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. “But she also brought me to you, so…”

“Yeah.” Zann leaned in to gently, ever so gently, kiss her tears away. “It’s still not fair though.”

“No,” Lydia murmured, a fresh wave of tears spilling over her cheeks, “it really isn’t.” She pressed her fingertips to Zann’s cheek and urged her closer. “Please kiss me.”

“Always,” Zann promised, her dark lashes drifting shut as she dipped her head and closed the distance between them to capture Lydia’s lips.

It was a slow, gentle kiss, as fragile as it was solid and sure. It was a kiss that said this is real, and I choose you, and I love you. It was exactly what Lydia needed, and she pushed up onto her toes as she pressed herself against Zann, desperate to feel as much of her as she could as she basked in her tender affection.

That first kiss flowed into a second, then a third, fourth, fifth, sixth, the emotion building and flowing from one to the next. Their kisses lengthened to match the hushed ebb and flow of the waves rushing onto shore, each one flowing naturally into the next until Lydia knew nothing beyond this.

Beyond them.

It was heaven.

“I love you,” Lydia sighed against Zann’s lips when their kisses eventually slowed and they were just holding each other close.

“I love you,” Zann vowed. She nuzzled Lydia’s cheek and pecked her lips. “Do you want to walk more, or head back to the cottage to pack?”

Lydia licked her lips and looked out at the ocean. She honestly had no idea how long they’d been just standing here, losing themselves in each other, but judging by the way the world around them had brightened, it was getting late. “As much as I’d like to stay,” she said slowly, sadly, every word a weight on her heart that threatened to pull her back under, “we should probably head back.”

Zann nodded. “Okay.” She kissed her softly one last time and, when she pulled away, her smile was still tight around the edges, but it was more resigned than desolate. “Come on,” she said, taking Lydia’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Lydia apologized as she laced her fingers between Zann’s.

“It’s okay, Lyds.” Zann’s fingers tightened around hers. “We knew this was coming.”

“Yeah, but I was still kinda hoping it wouldn’t,” Lydia said as they began making their way back.

“Me too.” Zann wrapped their joined hands behind Lydia’s back and drew her into her side. “But we’ll be okay.”