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As a teenager I made myself a promise that one day I would have this man. I spent years turning into someone who could. And here he is, wrapped around me. I got my wish. I just had to hand him a lie to get it. I had to call this a lesson.

The best night of my life, and I bought it with the one truth I can never tell him.

He gathers me into his chest like I’ve always belonged here, dragging the sheet over me to keep me warm, to keep me safe.

He wants me to stay.

I’m in catastrophic trouble.

"Margot." His voice comes low under my ear, lazy and warm. His fingers tracing idle lines down my spine. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mm."

"This guy." His hand goes still on my back but he’s pressing me further into him. "The one you're doing all of this for. The one you want."

I feel his words hit my chest.

"Who is he?"

And there it is. The lie I built.

He’s lying in the dark, wrapped around me, asking me to name the man I want, and the answer is you, it’s you, it has always been you, and I would rather die than tell him.

So I open my mouth, and I give him a name that isn't his.

Chapter 5: Jax

There are a hundred things I could do with Margot asleep and naked in my bed. I decide against every single one of them.

She's a warm sprawl against my side, one leg hooked over mine, dead to the world in my bed like she was always meant to end up here.

I lie still and let myself have the one thing I know I can never keep. Her.

And I look. God, I look. Auburn hair across my pillow,that mouth of hers finally not arguing with me, gone soft and swollen from last night.

Every curve of her, warm against my side where she fits perfectly. And I'd trade all my seasons to keep her here with me.

I should let her sleep. She's new to this. She's probably sore. She gave me last night, and then, when I asked who she's doing all of this for, she gave me a name.

Ethan.

I lay awake half the night with it. Ethan. Who the fuck is Ethan?

I’ve never met him and I already want to meet him in a dark parking lot. In my head he's tall and soft-handed. Boring.

Some guy with a boat and a five-year plan and a jaw that has never once taken a punch and Margot picked him. Margot wants him.

She's in my bed, and mine for exactly as long as this arrangement lasts, and she’s learning how to fuck so she can fuck a man named Ethan.

My heart is trying to claw its way out of my chest. The jealousy burns like a cracked rib.

I can’t think about this anymore. Instead, I change my mind. I decide I want to feel her come apart on my hand.

I ease down the bed slowly, careful not to jostle her, and set my mouth to the soft curve of her breast. She stirs and doesn't wake.

I take my time, drawing one nipple between my lips and working it with my tongue until it stiffens and she makes a small, sleepy, sound that goes straight through me and lands low.

“Jax.” She says my name in her sleep.