Page 25

I was vaguely aware of Lynx moving around the bathroom, and when he got into the shower behind me, I gave in to the gut instinct of leaning back on him and letting him wrap his arms around me.

I shuddered at the touch.

Fuck, it had been a long time. There had been no mental space for this inside that room. I had no idea how much the guards knew about the three of us, about the extent of our relationships, and I’d been scared to give them any more ammunition to hurt us. Every time Lynx had reached for my hand I’d moved away, not because I didn’t want his affection, or his touch, but because I was so fucking scared if the guards knew about another way to hurt me, they would.

And at that point, I couldn’t lose another thing.

Another person I loved.

“I’ve fucking missed you,” he murmured, running handfuls of the motel’s cheap bodywash all over me, and then him. The soap lathered up between our bodies, making our skin slide against each other.

We both brushed our teeth with supplies the front desk had given us when we’d requested them. The water rinsed away the dirt and grime from our mouths and skin, along with any hesitation I’d had about not touching him, not looking at him too long, not talking about anything that might give the guards a reason to hurt him.

I turned in his arms, so we were facing each other. I traced my hands over his biceps and washed them clean, then traveled over his chest and up his neck, the water taking the grime away.

And leaving only him.

“Fucking missed you too,” I mumbled.

With my fingertips massaging the base of his neck, and slipping up into his hairline, he groaned at the touch. He circled my other wrist and dragged my hand down his body, over his chest and abs and lower to his cock that was already getting hard.

I gripped him there as he ducked his head the inch it took to make us equal heights, his mouth finding mine.

I’d forgotten what this felt like. Or maybe he and I had never really kissed without the hot, demanding energy of attraction, the danger of getting caught swirling around us making the whole thing that little bit more exciting.

Kissing Lynx now, after everything we’d been through, didn’t feel like that.

It felt better.

It felt like coming home.

I leaned into him, not just because of the weakness in my body but because I so desperately needed someone to touch me. “You’re so warm,” I murmured. I dragged his hand down the same way he’d done to me.

I didn’t need to beg him for what I wanted. He knew.

I started up slow, rhythmic strokes on his cock, and he matched it on mine. Our lips found each other’s again and again, our tongues doing what they did naturally, falling back into old rhythms where everything was familiar and wanted.

Everything about him turned me on. From his hair that was now longer than I’d ever seen it, slicked back with water, to his eyes, his gaze constantly scanning my face, my body.

I shook my head. “Stop looking at me like you’re scared I’ll break.”

He breathed out heavily.

And then closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m still trying to convince myself you’re really here and not dead in the fireball that claimed your car. You didn’t let me touch you the entire time we were in there, so forgive me if I wasn’t one-hundred-percent convinced I didn’t hallucinate the whole thing.”

I breathed in the fresh minty scent of his breath, and the soap, and the water that fell around us. “If I was dead, I couldn’t be stroking your cock right now.”

He gave a little half-smile. “It feels fucking good, so trust me, I’m glad you’re not.” But the smile fell off his face. “Are you okay?”

I groaned. “Are you?”

“No.”

“Me neither.”

He nodded, acknowledging we were both probably going to be messed up over all of this for a long time.

But I wanted to be good. I wanted to not flinch at every sound. I wanted to not close my eyes and see my father dead on the floor, or Nyah covered in blood. I wanted the baby safe in my arms so I could put him back in Nyah’s and Dax’s.