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I wasn’t so sure. And suddenly, I was fucking terrified I’d just screwed this whole thing up. That he would leave, and Nyah, Lynx, and I would try to go on without him.

But I knew in my heart we couldn’t. That this relationship only worked with the four of us here together. Each of us bringing something different. Each of us compensating for the others’ flaws with our strengths. The four of us a family I didn’t want to lose.

I pounded up the rickety basement stairs, bursting out into the mansion with its polished floors and perfectly dusted side tables. For half a second, I wondered who was doing that now my mother was gone.

But I pushed the thought away, realizing it didn’t matter. There was always going to be things that reminded me of what I’d lost.

But I wanted to be here for the people I still had.

Luca had become one of my people. And I hated myself for hurting him.

I checked the gym and the kitchen, but he wasn’t there. Bruno and Viktor hovered by the doorway in the foyer, and I stopped in front of them. “Did he leave?”

Bruno shook his head and inclined it toward the grand staircase that led to the second floor. I gave him a nod of thanks and took the stairs two at a time until I got to the upstairs landing. Instinct led me to his bedroom, but when I got there, I frowned at the empty room. There were plenty of other bedrooms and a theatre up on this level, but I’d really thought he’d be here.

A breeze blew in from the balcony door I hadn’t even realized was open. It was dark outside, nothing but the moon and the neighborhood streets out beyond the trees that provided privacy for the house.

A shadowed figure stood out there, staring over it all.

I let myself out, closing the door behind me.

Luca glanced over his shoulder, saw it was me, then instantly turned back around, his words clipped. “Be careful on the railing there. Some bolts are missing, and it’s wobbling. I need to get Bruno to call someone in.”

He wouldn’t look at me. He was clearly so mad, but still cared about my safety. That was something.

“Luc,” I practically whispered.

“Don’t fucking call me that. I hate being called that.”

Except he didn’t. He’d never corrected me before, and I’d been calling him that ever since the church basement.

“I’ll call you whatever you want, as long as you let me apologize.”

He breathed out slowly, his elbows leaning on the balcony railing. “Why bother? Words are meaningless.”

“They aren’t. I tattoo words onto people every day. Words that mean something to them.”

He snorted on his derision. “You tattoo I love Mom and RIP Grandad.”

The corner of my mouth flickered up a little because that was true. “But I tattoo the names of people who are important. I tattooed James’s name on your skin because it meant something to you.”

Luca swallowed hard, shadows flickering across his profile.

I sighed heavily. “Listen. I’m really fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I know you had nothing to do with my mom’s murder.”

His words were clipped and angry. “I might not have been her son, but I cared about her too. You don’t get the monopoly on grief over her death.”

“I know. I also know you think words are cheap.”

“People lie to me every day, Dax. I lie. Everyone fucking lies.”

I sucked in a deep breath. “So tell me what makes this better. Tell me how I go back to being allowed to call you Luc.” I swallowed hard. “Because I don’t want to go back to calling you Luca.”

He twisted to look at me in the darkness and threw his hands up in frustration. “I don’t know, Dax! Suck my dick. What do you want me to say?”

I blinked.

His words were crass. Designed to push me away, and hell, maybe that would have worked on someone else. Someone who didn’t know him the way I did. Someone who didn’t see the sharp, harsh words came from a place of hurt and betrayal.