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Roman: Enjoy the cantaloupe.

I stop dead in the middle of the parking lot.

No.

I stare at the screen, then reread it.

My head snaps up.

Roman's truck is nowhere in sight.

“You motherfucker.”

Another message appears.

Roman: And the hemorrhoid cream.

My mouth drops open.

I look around the parking lot.

Nothing.

I type furiously.

Me: I DID NOT BUY THE HEMORRHOID CREAM!

Roman: Sure.

Me: I don't have hemorrhoids.

The dots appear.

Disappear.

Appear.

Roman: Good to know.

I stare at my phone.

Then start laughing. Loudly. In the middle of the grocery store parking lot.

A man loading groceries into his SUV looks over. I don't care.

Me: You knew I was there?

This time Roman takes longer to answer.

My smile starts fading.

Finally, his message appears.

Roman: Chaos.

That's it. One fucking word.

I narrow my eyes.