Page 71

After Westbrook left, Alex locked the door and stood in the hallway for a moment. I could see him sorting through it. Running the scenario, assigning resources, building a plan.

He came to me. His thumb brushed my cheek, and he tilted my face up to look at him.

"We're going to be okay," he said.

I held his hand against my face and nodded.

"I'm glad you're safe." His voice was quiet. His thumb moved across my cheekbone, back and forth, and his eyes held mine like he was checking to make sure I was still there.

I looked up at him and kissed him. I caught his lower lip between my teeth, sucked on it, and pulled him down to me. He made a sound low in his throat, and I kissed him harder.

He pulled back just enough to look at me. "Eager tonight, are we?"

"You saved me again today." I slid my hands up his chest, over his shoulders. "And all I've been thinking about since the rink is getting you into that bedroom."

He chuckled. The sound rumbled through his chest into my palms. His hands slid down my sides, slow, over my hips, and he gripped my ass and lifted me off the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me through the apartment, kissing me the whole way.

That night, I gave him everything. Whatever he wanted, however he wanted it. I wanted his hands to erase every word Declan had put in my head. I wanted to be so full of Alex that there was no room left for doubt.

"Alex—"

His fingers were between my legs and my thighs were already shaking. He watched my face while he touched me. I let my knees fall open and stopped trying to be quiet.

"I need you," I said. "Please."

He spread my legs wider and pushed into me slowly. I gasped as he filled me completely. He watched my face with every stroke, his hand braced beside my head, his thumb tracing my jaw. I held on to him and let the heat build.

Then he turned me over. I went willingly, my face in the pillow, my hips lifted. He pressed into me from behind, one hand on my hip, the other reaching between my legs. His fingers on me, circling, matching the pace of his thrusts. And in that moment, I stopped thinking about Declan. I stopped thinking about anything.

There was only Alex. His breath on my skin. The low sound he made when he pushed deeper. His voice in my ear, rough, saying my name.

"Janine." His hand moved faster. "Come for me."

I did. I buried my face in the pillow and let it take me, my whole body tightening around him. He followed me over, his hips stuttering, his grip on me fierce and then gentle, his forehead dropping between my shoulder blades.

We stayed like that for a while trying to catch our breaths. I didn't want to move. My face was still in the pillow, my body still humming, and I wanted to stay in this moment where nothing existed except the feeling of him.

"I love you," he said as he pulled out, kissed my spine, and rolled onto his side of the bed.

The words should have been easy to return. They'd been easy every other night. But tonight they sat in my throat next to the question I couldn't ask him, and I couldn't get one out without the other.

I didn't answer.

"Janine. Are you okay?"

I turned to him and curled into his chest. "Yes."

He fell asleep with his arm around my waist. And in the quiet, Declan's voice came back.

His father was involved in the same things I am. The exact same things you ran from. If you really don't want our daughter growing up in that world, make sure the man you're sleeping with is exactly who he says he is.

I closed my eyes. I pressed my back against Alex's chest and tried to let his breathing pull me under.

"This woman wants the school to send out a memo. A memo, Janine. Because her kid traded half a sandwich for a cookie and now she wants a school-wide ban on sugary snacks in the lunchroom."

I was picking up Hazel from Erin's. The kids were on the living room floor, cross-legged, locked into some cartoon about a penguin. Erin was at the kitchen counter chopping bell peppers that were apparently taking the brunt of her frustration that day.

"Pack your kid a lunch they won't want to trade. That's the solution. That's it. But no, she's emailing the principal, she's cc'ing the PTA, she's got three other moms on board, and now I have to sit through a meeting on Thursday about lunchroom snack policy because Susan McEllen can't put a Fruit Roll-Up in a lunchbox without having a crisis."