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He stared at me.
“Léonie, I’m not a good man. I’m a criminal, and I’ve been a criminal for a long time. But I am going to be that man for you. The man you can trust. And I warn you, I am going to use every tool at my disposal to convince you to give me another chance.”
I turned and walked away.
“I can’t think of anything you could do that would make me change my mind.”
CHAPTER 20
Étienne
Ifelt bone-weary and it was late at night, yet there was something I had to do.
Apologize to my son.
And when I entered the nursery softly, Léonie sleeping on the single bed, while Ciel lay beside her in the crib—he was already awake.
I carefully lifted my son from his crib and cradled him in my arms.
“We don’t have to wake mommy up yet, do we? Let’s let Mommy sleep for a little while longer.”
He looked at me like I was a little crazy, but he didn’t scream.
“Son, I’ve already apologized to your mother, but I want to apologize to you for not being there like I should have. Yes, you’re not going to remember this, because I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you only remember the good times. And how much I love your mother.”
My throat was tight, my muscles working over and over.
What if Léonie never forgave me? What if she never wanted anything else to do with me?
What if I had to go the rest of my life without her in it?
The casual way I had treated the most precious thing in my life sickened me.
How had I been so cocksure she would always forgive me?
Ciel began to fuss, and I quickly changed his diaper, then snapped his onesie back up.
“I love you,” I told him, trying to rock and keep him quiet. “If I ever mess up, I will promise to make it right.”
Just then Léonie began to stir.
“Hugo? Hugo?” she asked, her voice thick with sleep.
“No,” I said, my heart sinking, cold despair in its place. “He’s back with the Savatiers. It’s Étienne, your husband.”
“Oh,” she said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “Where is Ciel?”
“He’s here,” I said, holding the warm, precious bundle out to her, and she leaned back in the bed and put him at her breast.
“Can I get you anything?”
“You could fill up my water bottle.”
I obeyed, and came back with filled with ice and cold water, and Ciel was already asleep again.
“Why were you in here?” Leonie asked.
“I just wanted to make sure the two of you were doing all right,” I said. “This is your home, and I want you to be comfortable here, as you always were.”