Page 59

‘I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t realise anyone was home.’

‘It’s okay. It’s done now. I don’t know what to do. She’s been acting so strange lately. Before, I trusted her with my life. Now, I don’t even know who she is or what she’s capable of.’

‘It’s okay,’ he says, his tone like he’s trying to smooth things over. ‘Nothing will happen. I’ll handle it.’

I nod, even though my chest still feels tight, unsure what exactly he means by that.

‘So, what did you think of her?’ I ask, aiming to be casual.

He hesitates for a second, as if searching for the right words. ‘She’s beautiful. Obviously.’

My stomach dips at his words.

‘But,’ he adds quickly, noticing my expression, ‘she’s intense. In a way that puts you on edge. I felt like she was psychoanalysing me.’

I force a small smile. ‘She has that effect.’

He glances at me, like he senses the shift in my demeanor. ‘Not my kind of intensity,’ he says, almost offhand. ‘She’s just a lot.’

I nod again, swallowing. Of course he thinks she’s beautiful. Everyone thinks that. It’s not news. Still, hearing it from him feels different.

‘She always has been,’ I say quietly.

Ash leans back against my bed, running a hand through his hair. ‘I get why she intimidates people.’

The word makes something twist in my chest. ‘She doesn’t intimidate me.’

He looks at me, doubt crossing his face. ‘You don’t have to pretend with me.’

I look away, my jaw tightening. I’m suddenly aware of all my old feelings rushing back. I’ve always felt as if I exist in her shadow, no matter what I do to try better myself, to try to match her.

‘She’s my sister,’ I say, sharper than I mean to. ‘I’m used to her.’

Ash goes quiet, realising he has struck a nerve.

‘I didn’t mean to—’ he starts.

‘I know,’ I cut in, softer now. I refuse to let my tears spill, even though they are desperate to. ‘I know you didn’t. You are the most important person in the world to me, and I don’t want her to take you.’

Ash stills, appearing surprised by my confession. His hands find mine where they’re clenched in my lap, and he squeezes them softly and reassuringly.

‘Hey,’ he says quietly. ‘That’s not how this works. There’s no world where I choose her,’ he continues, his stunning blue eyes locked on mine. ‘Not now. Not ever.’

A lump forms in my throat, and I’m unable to reply.

‘You’re it for me, Bryn,’ he says, like it’s the simplest truth he knows. ‘No one else even comes close.’

I shake my head slightly, doubt still clawing at me. ‘But you said she’s beautiful—’

‘She’s your sister,’ he interrupts gently. ‘Of course she’s beautiful, you share the same genetics. You’re beautiful. More so, in my opinion, but none of that matters.’ His thumb brushes my knuckles, grounding me. ‘What we have – that’s not something anyone can take.’

The steadiness in his voice does something to me. It quiets the insecurity, the years of comparisons, the fear that I’m less than her. That if given the choice, everyone would always choose her over me.

‘I didn’t come into your life only to leave it,’ he adds. ‘It’s always going to be you.’

The words crack something open in my chest. I lean into him, pressing my forehead against his shoulder and breathing him in. He wraps his arms around me without hesitation. For the first time since Isla’s name entered the room, the knot in my stomach loosens, because right now, with Ash’s arms around me, I believe him, even if a small part of me is already afraid of how much it would hurt if he were wrong.

I lie sprawled on the grass, a paperback balanced on my stomach. The pages flutter as the breeze moves through the trees, carrying the smell of summer and freshly cut grass. Ash is beside me, cross-legged, hunched over his journal. He’s completely absorbed, tongue caught slightly between his teeth as he scribbles furiously, then pauses, then scribbles again. His knee bumps mine every now and then, absent-mindedly, like he doesn’t even realise how close we are. I glance over the top of my book, pretending to read while really just watching him.