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Her ice skates clomp as she marches towards the employee break room. All I can do is stare at her ramrod straight, retreating back. My mind screams that allowing her to leave is the smartest thing to do. After all, my goal was to avoid entanglements and chance meetings at all costs. Yet, here we are, running into each other for the second time.

Yep, letting her walk away is the best thing to do.

“Hey, Winny, stop. Please.” Damn it. Why the hell can’t my mouth listen to my brain?

She stops but doesn’t turn around. “What do you want, Brad?”

What do I want? I want to run to her and sweep her into a giant hug and kiss her senseless, just like I used to do.

Wait, where the hell did that random thought come from? Well, I can’t tell her that.

“I just want to talk.”

This time, she turns around. The angry glare she directs at me almost has me shrinking backward.

She throws her hands wide. “Talk? You want to talk? After four years? What could we possibly have to talk about? I don’t even know who you are. You’re nothing but a stranger to me.”

Her words are a knife to my soul. My Winny, the sweetest girl on earth and I’ve made her hate me. No matter what she did and how much it hurt me, I never wanted her to hate me. I can’t stop my feet as they silently take me to where she stands.

“That’s not true, Winny. You’re the only one who knows who I am.”

Her face doesn’t soften. “No, I never knew who you were, and I don’t know who you are now. What I know is I want nothing to do with you. So, just stay away from me.”

She starts to turn away, but I reach out and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I say in an almost whisper.

Instead of my words softening her demeanor, my apology seems to have the opposite effect. Her spine visibly straightens even more, and a look of disbelief joins the look of anger.

“You’re sorry? For what, exactly?”

The importance of my answer hangs between us. Fear of saying the wrong thing holds me immobile and unable to think. “I don’t know. Everything.”

“You don’t know?” Her voice is furious. “You’re apologizing, and you don’t even know what you did?”

“No! I know what I did. Of course I do. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I should’ve given you an explanation.”

She tightens her fists in frustration and closes her eyes tightly.

“You really have no idea what you did, do you?” she says through clenched teeth.

Her anger begins to fuel my own. But I know if I show it, she’ll leave without another word. She’s not completely innocent in this, but I force myself to keep those thoughts from coming out of my mouth. My fingers clench into fists from the effort to keep my voice level. “I shouldn’t have ended it with you the way I did, and I shouldn’t have left you like that. You have to understand. I did it for your own good as I was a distraction you didn’t need at the most important time of your life. I couldn’t allow you to focus on me when your attention was supposed to be on qualifying for the Olympics. I didn’t want to continue holding you back.”

“Hold me back? Do you have any idea what I went through when you left? You were my first love, and you broke my heart. To find out that I meant nothing to you… it destroyed me. Did you ever care, even a little?”

“Of course I cared!” My voice rises to an almost yell, and I have to take a deep breath. She wants to play the martyr, but she doesn’t know everything that I know. She doesn’t get a free pass anymore. “I cared more than you know. When I saw you and Todd together, I confronted him, and he told me everything. I won’t allow you to act like the victim here. You weren’t blameless.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Who would have thought she was such an actress? The pure look of confusion that mars her brow almost has me backing down.

“You want to play it that way, huh? I saw you holding Todd, hugging him. I saw you kiss him, and it made me sick.”

“Of course, I hugged your brother. He was my skating partner. Long before you and I ever got together, he was one of my best friends. But we never kissed. Ever.”

“Lie to me if it makes you feel better. I saw you. I know the truth.”

Winny’s face turns bright red, either from anger or embarrassment. I’m not sure which. She crosses her arms over her chest. “The truth? What are you trying to say? That I cheated on you with your brother?”

Hearing the words out loud after all these years hurts more than it should. Now that I’ve started down this path, I can’t seem to stop. My mouth spews out the words I’ve kept locked away for so long.