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Brand stared at that block of wood for hours before giving up.
Once he remembered Gaulnir, the Demon’s face suddenly flashing through his mind while he tried to think of what to whittle, it was a lost cause. Brand sifted through the nightmare of that alternate reality, his thoughts and memories twisting. Wondering if it was his own words that drove Gaul to sit on the Dominion of Demons. If he was somehow the one responsible for such a horrific loss, because his old friend hated the idea of a life without work, without purpose.
And if it wasn’t him, who the fuck did it? Who dared? Burning Solyrian, the question of who sat in his gut like a hot stone, burning and burning, until he buried it with the rest of the shite that needed to wait until later.
Besides, birds started chirping some time ago, and he was willing to wager they knew something he didn’t in a place like this. When a check on Luna through the window showed her in exactly the same position, her shoulder rising and falling in deep, even breaths, he gave in.
Araxis wasn’t kidding about the lake. The first glimpse of a swirling aurora stole Brand’s breath away, whole galaxies on stunning display beyond it. So dense in some places, they looked like clouds. Utterly infinite, its perfect reflection on the still surface making him feel like he was stepping into another world entirely as he waded into the depths.
Floating on his back, Brand watched the cosmos moving above and imagined he was part of them. Just a far off star, lazing across the speckled sky. Flying. Weightless.
In body, anyway. If only the same was true for his lesser half and their shared, splintered mind.
“Ah…fuck it,” he whispered to no one.
Brand tore himself from the watery womb, bright sounds restored as he shook himself out. Even without the sunstar, it was relatively warm here, for which he was grateful. He hadn’t considered his lack of bath linens. There was too much else to sort.
Like the clawing restlessness that refused to leave him be.
Slinging his pants over a shoulder and letting the air dry his skin, he made his way back. Trudging, at first, until he realized that every step brought a new wonder and he slowed to take it in.
Turquoise dust twinkled in the breeze. Luminous blooms leaned in to inspect him. Tiny insects pulsed with rhythmic light as they buzzed by.
And in between, the trees were steeped in soft shadow. The deepest green imaginable.
Luna’s favorite color.
Brand swallowed, his feet rooted to the ground as he stared and stared into the abyss of the forest. He wanted to bottle it up for her and paint it on every surface. Wrap her in it wall-to-wall, knowing it would make her skin more iridescent than ever. Knowing it would make her happy.
More than that, he wanted it for himself. For the peace it offered, if he could just figure out how to reach out and take it.
Shite. Brand never thought he’d find himself standing naked in the Northern Forests of Nachthelliae again. He swore to never come back after his older brothers dumped him in the midnight wilds without a stitch of clothing on, no portal in sight and no toll to get home even if he found one. Which he did. Unfortunately.
He hiked through thicket and brush for what felt like days before finally discovering what was probably the only portal in all the realms with a single toll merchant—an aged Nachthellian whose price for a piece of the Weeping City was “a passionate kiss to recall on cold nights.” After much internal debate, he’d barely begun to nod when the ancient Sorcerit leapt upon him with the clawing fervor of a much younger creature, taking him utterly by surprise. Brand still wasn’t sure whether he even kissed her back, but whatever she got out of him was enough to buy his way home.
Naturally, the prank had been Mag’s idea. Brand’s response was to steal one of his father’s sleeping draughts, dose half the supper leftovers in Argoph’s Dining Hall with it, wait for Pet to scarf down the scraps like he always did, and shave his passed out brother to the skin.
Worth it.
At least this time, Brand had a say in being left here. Wishing his blessed mate stayed asleep so he had more time to come to terms with himself—to find his way back to his lesser body, to touch her the way he wanted—was a new low, though.
Brand wasn’t looking to join their bodies, necessarily. Mostly, he just…
Damn it. He wanted to feel as close to her as possible, and the size impeded that. He wanted to be held, as much as he wanted to do the holding.
Ridiculous.
Rustling in a nearby bush snapped him out of his spiral. A second later, a silver fox with glowing eyes and a critter in its mouth popped out.
Funny, really, that they were so equally startled by one another, both of them frozen as they stared and waited to see what the other would do. That Brand felt his heart pounding with something dangerously close to fear while in this greater form.
His hand twitched towards it, the smallest part of him hoping it would let him run his fingers along its silken fur, simply to have contact with something so damned innocent. When it dashed off instead, Brand freed a shaky sigh and pulled his trousers on, turning away from the bone deep chill that had nothing to do with temperature.
He was probably too tainted for so pure a thing as petting animals in the woods, anyway.
“Brand? Brand!”
His steps faltered at the sound of Luna’s voice, her lilting husk simultaneously the most gorgeous sound in the world and a knife to the gut.